Monday night I had a moment. A very big moment. It turned into a big #transformationtuesday moment. If you follow me on insta you've already seen what I'm talking about, but for my records here it is again.
The picture you see above is me last summer/fall. Pretty sweet right? I've worked forever to get abs and boom they finally showed up. I was the leanest I've ever been and back at my wedding weight, which is where I've T R I E D to get many times, to no avail. And finally, HERE I WAS, goal weight and abs showing.
But, at what cost? I was teaching probably 7 of the same classes a week, plus certifying another format, all while looking for a full time job. The girl up there...wasn't sleeping. The girl up there...was barely eating because there was no appetite due to stress. The girl up there...lost EIGHT pounds in a month due to a death in the family and life. The girl up there... was living in someone else's home trying desperately to figure out where life was going to turn next.
Monday I taught a BODYATTACK class and as I looked in the mirror I immediately went yuck. My arms...not as toned. My legs...big. My booty...strong but not lifted enough. My stomach...soft, soft soft. It was disheartening when I realized how far I had 'let myself go'. I had a down in the dumps moment, then rocked the stage as best I could for my members.
After class I got to thinking. This 'softer' body still functions like the leaner one. I can still rock two classes a day. I can still tuck jump, pushup, pull up, squat and run with a smile while teaching. This softer body is due to stability. To an actual INCOME where eating cheat meals can happen without freaking out. Where small little victories equal a trip to froyo to celebrate. Where I'm actually HUNGRY and want to eat food. Where pop tarts with coworkers become a fun bonding moment. This softer body isn't a BAD thing. Is it where I want to be ideally? NO! But, I can make the right choices and get where I want SAFELY and the right way.
Longwinded post, and possibly boring for most, but hey, that's cool. I just wanted to pop in and say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Take today as a moment to reflect on how incredible your body is RIGHT NOW, because it REALLY is an incredible machine. < 3