AIMing HIGHER and a BLATE

Hi, friends! Wait, a post on a day other than Friday, get outta here with my bad self right?!? I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of blog things and SLOWLY trying to make my way over to other blogs. Can't make promises, just know I'm trying, kay?

Anyway, THIS WEEKEND WAS INCREDIBLE. Seriously, so so so amazing in so so so many ways. While I'm looking for a big girl job, I'm using this down time to up my certifications and this month that included attending an Advanced Instructor Module [AIM1] for Les Mills BODYPUMP. When I looked and saw it was in Memphis I realized I could attend and MEET ONE OF MY FAVORITE BLOGGERS at the same time. WINNING times two right?!?!

My girl JESSI [ I can say my girl cause I KNOW HER IN REAL LIFE] lives in Memphis and was the sweetest friend ever when I asked if I could stay with her to attend this training. Yeah, we hadn't 'met' before, but we've known each other for awhile and I was uber excited to have her show me around Memphis [which I've never seen].

I took Friday off of work and DROVE across the state. Lil Miss Pinky had NO idea how far away it really was until this drive. Yeah, not close, but easily doable for the weekend. I arrived not long after Jessi got home from work and we CAUGHT UP with each other then enjoyed a delicious home cooked meal for dinner. Oh yeah, we also enjoyed a few glasses of sangria, too. It was such a blast and we chatted as if we'd known each other for years, while we learned more about each other at the same time. Sadly I had to cut the party a bit short because I had a very early call time for my training.

After barely sleeping due to nerves, I was up bright and early and on my way to the gym. There was almost a heart attack moment when I couldn't find the entrance but thankfully I used my critical thinking skills and found the gym. I walked in full of nerves and worries and SO SCARED of falling flat on my face in front of this AMAZING trainer and my peers.

Y'ALL!!!!! IT WAS THE BEST TIME EVER AND THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE. I honestly can't even begin to explain how crucial this was to my LES MILLS journey. I walked in a scared lil baby instructor and left a badass veteran of the program. We were taken through an intense technique class and everyone had a bunch of little tweaks for each move and we all had MANY 'AHA' moments as well. Presenting still brought the nerves however the knowledge shared throughout the class lent to a pretty amazing presentation number two and I feel SO REINVIGORATED with my coaching. Definitely found my LOVEMARK! Our instructor was the most fabulous trainer and she really helped me find my BODYPUMP self. I learned it was OKAY to be more PINKY while teaching, as long as I still stayed in the essence. Seriously I could go on and on, so I'll just stop and share these to fabulous pictures.

FIERCE!

EXCITED!

Once the training was over I hightailed it back to Jessi's and after a quick change we headed out to downtown Memphis for some FUN. Sushi was our choice for dinner and the place was super cute and delicious. I LOVED my Saki-tini.

Next we moved on to walking Beale Street, which was such a fun experience for this Memphis newbie. The vibe is like New Orleans with the streets closed but the MUSIC coming from all the bars was sooooo bluesy and happening. We wandered up and down the strip then settled on a dive bar in the middle. To say we stood out is an understatement but the music was too good to pass up. SO much talent for real.

After we finished our drinks we walked further down to main street to find another place to chill. Jessi took me to this awesomely themed speakeasy. I tried my first Kentucky Mule [delicious] and we were again treated to some fabulous Memphis tunes. The decision to shut it down after this bar was total mutual and we headed home to get a lil bit of sleep.

Sunday morning was a nice easy wake up with yummy coffee and a scramble a la Jessi. Too soon it was time for me to pack up and leave since I driving to Memphis has me crossing a dateline. Though the weekend together was short, we made the most of it and I'm SO HAPPY we were able to hang out. There's already a Nashville trip in the works and HOPEFULLY I'll get her further east for some hiking. THANK YOU JESSI FOR BEING YOU, which is just the awesomest!!!

Hope y'all have a great week. I teach another BODYPUMP class today and then will hopefully be taping my BODYATTACK certification video on Thursday. Cross your fingers for me!!!!

Just Another Friday Update

Hello and thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you for all of your comments, thoughts, texts, prayers, love, calls and sentiments. The first few days of September cast a very dark shadow on the entire month and for lack of better term I feel like I've started to find my land legs after eons of being under water. As much as I've wanted to write here it just didn't feel right. It felt fake and so I chose to leave it alone and try and get my head right. Getting my head above water is a personal thing and these days it's something small that brings me back under unexpectedly.

Death does that to me and from past instances I know it will be quite some time before I'm... normal. Right now I am okay and learning to live with grief while also balancing so many ups and downs with a self imposed move. I'm grateful for the opportunities which have presented themselves and am continue to work towards the end goal, even if it takes longer than I expected.

BUT, this post is NOT a post about whining, I promise. Not in anyway a woe is me letter. There has been a lot of good things in my life during September and I've been busier than a tornado in a trailer park [name that movie].

This month I've...

Flown to New Orleans to meet Le Husband for an impromptu kickball get away. The trip was born, talked about and booked in the span of 48 hours and even though it was a whirlwind it was a fantastic time. We ate all the things, played some kickball [I did AWESOME] and hung out with people I hadn't seen in over a year. NOLA is one of my favorite cities and even though our time town was incredibly short, it was well worth the effort and price tag.

Certified in another fitness class. You are reading the blog of a certified Barre Above instructor. While I've only taken a few Barre Above/Barre None classes I'm a HUGE fan of their philosophy and their inclusion mission statement. Certification class was fantastic and I'm excited [and nervous] to take on something totally outside my wheelhouse. Guess who has her own class starting in two weeks? Yeah, homegirl needs to get ON IT.

Taught more two a days than I ever expected. Not only did I get certified in Barre, I'm also shadowing/practicing for my BODYATTACK video certification. Y'all, ATTACK is NO JOKE, seriously, one of the hardest classes [besides GRIT] Les Mills offers. I've learned so much since initial training, but still need to work on my fitness. I'm HOPING to tape my first video next week so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Attended my first VOL NAVY football tailgate/game. My grandfather has a houseboat which he parks right by the stadium and this was my FIRST time making it to a home game. Y'all, it is such a fun experience, I had such a blast. Follow me on Instagram to see the next party, I posted WAY too many videos last weekend.

Missed my family like crazy. Monday was BabySpice's birthday and it was tough being so far away while the rest of my family celebrated. We managed a FaceTime call [after my class, ahem] and it made me so grateful for technology. Phone calls and letters are great but seeing faces makes life so much better, right?

Lost four pounds. Part of me is happy but the other part of me knows stress and grief have been big players in my body. I do credit my two a day teachings and workouts for part of the effects, though. I'm definitely look the part of a trainer which is pretty awesome. Hopefully I'll stay close to my goal weight once I've found my equilibrium again.

Phew, that's a lot going on huh? Somedays I let myself get down in the dumps but most of the time I see this period of life as transitional and I allow the beauty to shine through the grey. Things will come together soon, of that I am sure. It would just be nice if it were sooner rather than later, haha.

I'm super stoked about this weekend because it's another busy one out of town. I'm headed further west in Tennessee for a BODYPUMP AIM and am THRILLED to be meeting up with one of my favorite bloggies. I can't wait to fill y'all in next week. I hope you have a smashing wonderful weekend.

Death Sucks, Healing Hurts, Family is Everything

Things have been a lil quiet here, huh? I wish with all my heart it was just because life is too busy, I don't have time or something of that nature. But, sadly, that is not the case. I've been quiet because I've needed space, time to process and time to heal.

Two Fridays ago, my father's mother, dearest Grandmama, went to be with Jesus. This time two weeks ago I was woken up by 645am texts of her fading fast and suddenly everything planned for the day fell away.  Suddenly I was booking a same day flight in hopes of making it to San Antonio before her final breath. Coordinating flights, plans and schedules all before my front desk job seemed like an eternity and a blink at the same time. Not being able to freak out with hugs from my family was so hard, talking through the phone instead of being there with them hurt, a lot.

My dad managed to get out early Friday morning to be with his siblings to help make decisions about health. Grandmama did not have an easy life and dealt with many medical issues and one thing two weeks prior began the deterioration that ultimately led to her last breath. In the blink of an eye, flights booked to say goodby became flights booked for a funeral. I honestly have NO IDEA how I made it through work that day. How I didn't just burst into tears every time someone asked me how I was doing or said 'smile, it's Friday'! Keeping it together was the hardest thing and I almost didn't make it through the plane rides. I wanted to lose it when my dad picked me up but it was midnight and I knew the last thing he needed was me sobbing so I was strong for him. But oh I wept quietly later. I'm forever grateful to my prayer warriors who covered me in grace and were there for me when I felt I was going to lose it.

The weekend was a blur of trying to figure out service arrangements, coordinating with family, tears, laughter, memories and so much food. I'm grateful my family gets a long so well and grateful for my incredible cousins. We were able to bond even tighter over this tragedy and shared some hilarious moments looking through pictures in Grandmama's home. The service was short, beautiful and heartbreaking. Watching my father and his two brothers cry tore me apart, and watching his sister cry hurt so much. I haven't felt that raw since my mother's mom's funeral.

Most of the time I'm a silver lining kind of gal, but I honestly find no silver lining in death. It is too final. It is too hard. It is too sad for me to be able to find the good. My FAITH leads me to believe in heaven and eternal joy with Him in His holy kingdom. FAITH brings me comfort knowing Grandmama is no longer in pain. Her body was so tired after struggling for so long and I find peace knowing her earthly battle is complete. But I am ANGRY she is gone. I'm once again ANGRY things took such a sudden and quick turn and there was NO preparation.

No time to remind her how much I loved her. No time for a last kiss, hug, letter, laugh or story. My last physical moment with her was at my sister's after wedding brunch. JUST TWO WEEKS BEFORE she was on the dance floor at the wedding. We had a few simple moments over the weekend and my heart just BREAKS knowing those were my last fleeting moments with her. Gosh, if I could do it all over I'd hug her and hold her so much longer.

I ache for my father and his siblings. I ache for their pain at losing a mother. I can't imagine it and won't even think about it right now. Losing a grandmother is hard enough for this lil heart. Every day since has been tough in it's own way. Right now some days are easier than others and some I just want to ball up and cry all day. I don't because I can't but that doesn't mean I don't want the world to stop. Death always thrusts that in our face, doesn't it? While we grieve and our world crumbles, the rest of the world goes about as if nothing has happened. It sucks!

Le Husband set up a trip last weekend as a semi anniversary trip and a semi clear your head trip and it did wonders for my mood and my heart. I still find myself not believing she's gone. I still berate myself for not writing her more letters or calling her more often. If you're reading this, REACH OUT TO YOUR LOVED ONES! DO IT NOW so you aren't in my place.

To those of you who've already reached out, THANK YOU! Your texts, messages, Instagram comments, Facebook words, phone calls and emails mean more than you could ever know. Death brings on feelings of isolation, but friends and family bring you back to the world. So, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!

As the pastor said in the service "The burden of death never goes away. You never get over losing someone. You just get stronger, day by day and soon you are strong enough to live carrying the burden of loss". Today is another day to get stronger, Pinky. Today is another day to get stronger.

Three Years Ago Today

We pledged our lives, our love and our hearts to one another. We said 'till death do us part' and 'in sickness and in health'. We agreed to forever be linked, to walk together through life and to support one another in everything and anything.

Three years,  my love. My, how far we've come. This year could be our busiest yet, with new jobs, a new city, possibly a new home and gasp, maybe even a new addition. While we've had our share of struggles, hard times, family deaths, sickness, fights, and stupid arguments, we've also enjoyed even more memories, trips, laughs, smiles, triumphs and good times than I can count. You are my heartbeat, my joy, my best friend and my forever partner. Thank you for choosing me for life, cheers to many more years of love, laugher and FUN! #threeyearsofourperfection #stucklikeglue

*year1*

*year2*

Here's a FOR REAL UPDATE {FINALLY}

Y'all, I did it. I got a post up like promised...a day late. But hey, it's what I got for you, haha.

Jobs: OH EM GEE, the bane of my existence. Seriously, searching for a job is the worst. I am BEYOND thankful to report Le Husband has had a job offer since mid August and so far things are going well, while slow. He will be working in is realm and I'm so happy to see him fulfilled and back to his old self. There will be quite a bit of travel with this job, but I'm okay with it since he's so happy. How about me you ask? UGH! I've had very little luck, I'm sad to say. I don't know what it is, but I think I'm missing that ONE lil thing with each position I apply for, however, I'm still trucking. Interesting enough, my gym is aggressively pursing me as a personal trainer which is flattering and scary at the same time. I'll be sure to keep you all posted, thanks for the continued well wishes and prayers.

FITNESS LIFE: Things in the BODYPUMP world ramped up quickly and I'm continuing to sub as many classes as possible. BIG news, I now have MY OWN class and possibly will have another one as well, how cool right? I've also signed up for an Advanced Module training later this month [which I am FREAKING OUT ABOUT ], in hopes of becoming an even better instructor. Oh and yeah, did I mention I passed 3/3 in my BODYATTACK Initial Training? Oh heck yes I did. Now I need to practice, practice, practice, film a video and hopefully become certified. ATTACK was much tougher for me than PUMP so I know this cert might take me a bit longer.

Tennessee Living: I LOVE TENNESSEE. Are we where we expected when we planned this adventure, HELLLZ NO! Things have taken way longer than expected but we're still choosing to believe in this choice and are starting make this area our new home. We've joined a kickball team and I met quite a few friends during ATTACK training, so we are slowly planting some roots. A church home is still to be found but I know the right one is out there. Oh yeah, the lake is still amazing.

Family: Blessed doesn't even seem to cover how I feel about my immediate or extended family. As mentioned before, we are way behind on our road map so yes, we are still living with my aunt, uncle and cousin. They have been BEYOND incredible and patient and have NEVER ONCE made us feel unwelcome or in their way. I know we are so lucky and I know many people do not have the same luck with family and I am so grateful. So grateful. I miss my family like crazy, though, which will never change. Babyspice just returned from a trip to Greece and I'm so sad I'm not there to welcome her home or do dinner to catch up on her adventures. Thank goodness for FaceTime.

Health: For the most part, things health wise have been right on the money. Until Tuesday. Then I randomly came down with a nasty virus, which I'm still dealing with today. Thank you all for your well wishes and suggestions [kathy, the tea was on POINT], I'm hoping to turn the corner quickly. Late Wednesday I was lamenting my health to myself [lame I know], but then I realized this was the FIRST bought of any kind of sickness we've had since we decided our new way of life. My biggest fear was getting sick in Europe and thankfully we came back to the US safe and healthy. Once we have insurance all squared away I won't be as worried about lil colds as I am now.

So there you have it, my life in lil blog post. Hope you enjoy a fabulous long weekend!

I Can't Post Today, I'm Sick {Cough Cough}

Remember that time I told you I'd have a life recap today? Yeah, well I lied. Big time. I had major plans to get home from work, grab a glass of vino and write a post detailing life here in Tennessee. I was stoked to finally link it up with Mrs "See You In A Porridge", but alas, the best laid plans.

And then the major sickys happened. I'm talking fever, chills, aches and sore throat. Super fun right? Not only did I have to work yesterday, I also had to teach BODYPUMP in the morning. For the third day in a row. With a mic that went out halfway through class so I had to shout. So, yeah, it was a no bueno day for this girl.

I left work and came home to delicious homemade soup a la Le Husband, but could barely eat a bowlful before I just had to go to sleep. I laid my head down on the pillow at 7pm and stayed there until the next morning. Thankfully my fever is gone, I'm just now dealing with a sore throat. Fingers crossed and prayers this isn't strep, because yeah, that whole insurance thing is no fun right now.

My plan is to finish up my post for tomorrow, hopefully the sickys stay at bay. And since y'all have been so patient with me, I thought I'd share one more wedding sneak peek of the famjam.