Fri-YAY!

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The best day of the week is here, woop woop! Today I'm focusing on the YAY of Friday.

YAY... I taught four BODYPUMP classes and felt shifts happening in my teaching.

YAY... I'm super excited for my BODYATTACK class tonight. 

YAY... Le Husband was home all week. 

YAY... We did Mexican and Margaritas for Valentine's day with a friend which was a blast.

YAY... My staff at work is showing up, being consistent and people are willing to always help out.

YAY... A short weekend trip is planned and I'm excited to feel like I have a life again.

YAY... I'm SLEEPING!

YAY... Le Husband picked up major slack when I felt HORRIBLE on Wednesday. 

YAY... The weather seems to be consistently warmish and not freezing.

YAY... I'm finding time to blog.

YAY... Les Mills released all the new formats for each program yesterday!

YAY... You guys make me smile, constantly. THANK YOU!

What's Happening in My World

1] Work is still annoying but not as stressful. I've gotten scheduling down pretty well and can get things taken care of, I just hate working the front desk every day. I also hate dealing with ungrateful people. I thought I was more of a people person, but this job reminds me too much of retail and I think something more steady without so much facility responsibility will make me happier.

2] Speaking of happier, my fitness journey is continuing and I'm loving all the growth. I'm stronger, fitter and leaner than I have been in awhile and beyond grateful for the changes in my physical body. Bringing BODYCOMBAT into my regimen has given me another awesome tool for leaning up and the cardio is out of this world. I do miss lifting heavy and need to add that back into my training, especially since I need to finish up my PT cert.

3] Speaking of that, have NOT made nearly enough progress with the program and book. I have to pass my exam by May and holy cow here we are in the middle of February. I need to get my act together, however it seems like new choreography keeps popping up and I'm not able to spend time with the text book. Need to work on planning PT time into my day.

4] Studying LES MILLS has been my life. This past weekend I attended a second Advanced Training and came out an Advanced Instructor in BodyPump. My next goal is to become ELITE and then hopefully become a trainer if everything falls into place. It's  BIG BIG GOAL and I have quite a few things to work on first.

5] Those being talking LESS in my classes when instructing and SMILING more. Yeah, this girl RIGHT HERE was told she needed to smile more when teaching because I come off much too dominant and need to be able to reach the more social people in the class. Very strange, but actually makes sense when you really dive deep into who I am and how I want to be perceived on stage.

6] Life has kept me from really being present in many things and I'm still not sleeping the greatest. I'm not sure if there is a happy medium with my job and being present and happy, but I'm doing my best to find it. Maybe it will take a new job and that's okay. I know this isn't forever, I just might need to find something sooner rather than later.

7] I still miss my family and friends back home like whoa. My tribe here is amazing, but things still aren't the same. I miss my regular dinners with friends, my church, my soccer team [ oh i miss soccer], my other gym friends, casual and quick dining places and just the ease I had living. It will come, I know, sometimes I just wish it were sooner.

What's happening in your world?

Loving Lately {The JUST HANDLE IT Edition}

What, a post without whining? Is this a different blog? Nope, friends, nope! I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and TRYING not to be so negative. I've heard from quite a few of you that you like how REAL I've been about my struggles and you have no idea how much I appreciate those words. I NEVER want to be fake and I'll NEVER pretend things are roses if they aren't. I know people like that and KNEW people like that and it drove me bananas how FAKE their blog was compared to their REAL LIFE personality and situation. However, that's another post for another day. 

Life has been nothing SHORT of bananas for me, so my faves and loves have come in QUITE handy. None of these are new, well one is, the facial mask [oh em gee love] was recently discovered at Target, they are just my tried and true steady eddies. 

Or, old pieces I totally forgot about and now use like crazy. I'm looking at you Oakley Kitchen Sink. Le Husband and I bought Oakley bags back in the day for traveling and kickball and since we've moved I haven't touched my bag. Well, I barely used it last year now that I think about it, haha. My gym back was NOT cutting it for work, it didn't have enough pockets and all of a sudden I went, wait a minute, I have a solution. This bad boy is super comfortable and holds a ton of crap! I carry my laptop, binder with teaching materials, planner, keys, makeup bag, workout outfits and BCAA cup easily. The only bummer is if I want to change out shoes, but I just keep those in my car, no sweat. HIGHLY recommend this bag, totally worth the price.

Being so involved with Les Mills I basically live in workout pants outside of work. Zellas are my favorite because they are SUPER comfy, wear well without thinning and if you take care of them last forever. Normally I'm in black pants at work and very now and then will throw on my Zellas and they feel great all day. 

Reebok sponsors Les Mills, so I've slowly started building my Reebok wardrobe. The shoes have been pretty incredible and I'm so glad I snapped a few up during Black Friday. The pumps are my favorite, perfect for cross training and magic when teaching BODYPUMP. I need to find a more active shoe for ATTACK and COMBAT, though. Any suggestions?

November and December I was just about survival at work, so my hair and makeup routine was pretty horrid. I did not take care of myself and I hated how scruffy and blah I looked. I've started to take care of my appearance more now, hello fresh new hair cut and products, but still need things to be quick and easy. No fuss, because after all, it is a gym, right? Still loving my ELF primer and the mineral eyeshadow is pretty fantastic for all day wear. Garnier makes the best undereye concealer, I look like I'm carrying shopping bags under my eyes if I forget to swipe it on in the morning. 

Lastly, I have to send out some love to a group, not a thing. This move has been hard and stressful and I've wanted to throw in the towel more times than I can count. But, it has brought me to my people. My tribe. Those who will never leave me and who support me unconditionally. I'm talking about my group fitness peeps. My peers, my members and now, my squad. I have created fast and secure friendships all because of group fitness. Some of my closets friends I've met at trainings and my Facebook group keeps growing because of people I've connect to through new formats and new classes. I am beyond grateful for finding my niche and for finding those people who will always be there because they GET IT! I love fitness, I love results and I love my squad.

Trying to Find My Light

And holy Sh*t has my pink ass been kicked. Every time I wanted to come here and write, decompress and veg out I couldn't because I didn't have the energy. Why? Because I'm not sleeping. Why? Because I'm constantly practicing or teaching classes. Why? Because my job is bananas and barely gives me time to breathe. Why? Because we just bought a town house and there is ALWAYS something that needs to be done. 

I have been a tired soul. The toll of life hurt my heart and my brain and I have been so emotionally, physically and mentally fatigued. It was all I could do to get out of bed and roll into work. The only, O N L Y piece of joy came teaching group fitness. The hour I could zone out with the music and my members gave me a piece of my soul back, but it was never, ever enough. Class ended too soon and suddenly it was back to horrible, stressful, awful reality.

When I say I'm not sleeping, I'm talking newborn parents not sleeping. I'm up EVERY HOUR, like clockwork. Through new hires I've managed to put together a pretty great team and my overnight guy is money now. So, you'd think I'd be okay to sleep knowing he'd be there...nope. Every night, for weeks, no sleep. I finally made a doctors appointment and have been using different plans to combat symptoms but have yet to find an actual cure. When I sleep for five hours I feel like a million bucks and have thankfully had a few of those nights recently. But the normal three hours of collective sleep is slowly crushing me.

I had no idea the toll no sleep and all this stress was taking until my boss at work asked me if I was okay. A dude, y'all, a dude. He point blank asked me if my quality of life was okay because I looked awful. I answered him truthfully and said no, I'm not okay. Because, y'all, I wasn't. 

I am so stressed about money. I have made friends but don't do anything because I don't want to spend money.  I am so over my job. I hate the stress, even though I've now created a stellar team. I'm over the bullshit, the new initiatives and slogans. They legit don't pay me enough and it's hard to have buy-in when you're not getting compensated for your work. I want to be in the fitness world, but operations is NOT for me. All of this stress doesn't just stay with me at work, I bring it home. 

Want to put stress on your marriage? Try quitting your jobs, moving to a new state without jobs, live in someone else's home for six months [four months longer than anticipated], get a new stressful job, buy a home on a teeny salary and then try to move in during the winter and busiest time of the year for said job. Yeah, it's been super peachy here. We are learning together and growing together, which is good, just so the opposite of easy.

Life has been dark, so dark and I've struggled to find the light at the end of my tunnel. I know there has to be one, but it's so dim and far away I wonder if it exists or is just a figment of my imagination. Last week brought me some extra light from friends in response to an Instagram post. My faithful cheerleaders showed up and helped me realize it is achievable and it can be done, I just have to faith and continue to work hard. So that is what I will do. I will continue to show up to the arena and get my ass kicked. I will continue to bring my light into the darkness and look ahead. I will continue to try and achieve my goals and find the finish line ahead. One step forward, one day at a time.