March 18, 2010

Green with Envy...not just a nail color

For St. Paddy's day yesterday I made sure to I was all greened out.

Green sweater shirt...check
Green earrings...check
Green with Envy Nail polish...check

Now, before you freak out, I have read through the fashion blogs that pale green nail polish is one of the "in" colors for the spring season. I searched the CVS store forever to find a pale shade I liked. But alas, once on the effect is a bit more NEON than expected. However, I am all for taking a few fashion risks and am rocking the green with class and a sass.

Anyway, the name of the green nail polish "Green with Envy" got me thinking....
and thinking...
and thinking....
about the word Envy and what and who do I Envy?

I envy those who's lives seem put together
the happy little families of women my age
the newly engaged and married couples
the old couples who have been together for 50 years
little 3 and 4 year olds who have their whole lives ahead of them
people who have worked their tail off to make their dreams come true
the strong Christian couples at my church and in the world who know God has blessed their union with His Love and who always have that Best Friend to turn to
rich people who don't have a care in the world about money
missionaries who know their riches aren't being stored up here on earth
people who can make decision and aren't wishy-washy about what they have chosen

I envy those who don't have anything to envy about anyone because they are so happy!

Is the grass always greener? If I had any say about my life I would be married with one child and another possibly on the way right now. And yet here I am, a 20 something girl living with a roommate and dating someone who probably isn't going to end up being the one. (WOW, I can't believe I just typed that sentence. But, that is for another day). It seems like I am drifting
drifting
drifting
drifting through life and I'm ready to have an anchor.

And then I realize I do. My anchor is also my rock. And also my Savior.
So I ask for forgiveness Lord for coveting and envying others.
I am so blessed in my life and just get caught up in wanting more.

Friends and followers please pray for me. I want to be able to feel fulfilled in my life and not envy others around me. I know that God is good and there is a plan for me. It's just hard waiting to see it all come together.

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