November 3, 2016

Six Months Later, Did We Make The Right Decision?

Here we are six months after Le Husband and I threw our lives into upheaval and moved states without jobs. Here we are far enough away from the beginning clarity is present. Clarity to look back and take stock in where we were, what we had, where we went to now where we are and what we are doing. Summer flew by faster than expected. The days were long, but the weeks were short and we have managed to have some fun while dealing with life. There have been new friends made, new traditions started and lots of time in the fitness world that I love. How could I think anything BUT the right decision?!

I mean, I'm sitting here, writing this in shorts, on a porch with this view. How can I complain? It's peaceful, beautiful, the perfect way to end an evening after a long day of work. With wine or a hot drink, it's the perfect spot.


Well, then you remember, it's not your house. Not your porch, not your view, not your mortgage. None of it is ours, except what we have in our room. Everything right now is a temporary situation and while we are GRATEFUL BEYOND BELIEF for family, it's sofreakinghard not having your own space.

There have been many sleepless nights. Many crying nights. Many arguments with God and with each other. Too many times to count I asked 'Did we make the biggest mistake of our lives'? Too many times I put on a brave face for everyone else, including Le Husband, but in my own quiet corner I cried in despair as things kept falling apart. We would get so close and then poof, gone.

Our dreams were so big, so much bigger than where we are now. I'll admit, I've cried because everything we dreamed about is not a reality. The jobs, the money, the home, the land, and the free time, not at all what I expected. Le Husband and I expected a house already, one with a yard and a decent amount of space. Not quite our forever home, but possibly the skeleton of our dream. We expected two jobs we enjoyed that would pay us half of where we were back home, because we did our research and saw multiple upon multiple job postings in our fields open before the move. Talk about being crushed day after day, week after week, month after month. It has been some of the hardest poundings I've ever experienced and my body is still suffering from the stress.

Sharing this here is tough and scary. One, I know there are people out there who feel vindicated we didn't get everything we wanted right out the gate. Two, sharing a goal and not reaching it is never a fun feeling. Three, exposing our true lives to the world offers a different look many choose not to share because it is so raw and so real and so messy. But, such is life. Even if we had stayed we would have failed at something. Or life would have knocked us down in an unexpected way. Life happens no matter what you do, at least the troubles of the past few months were brought on by a choice.

We would have failed without family. 100%. The overestimation of applying for new employment and gaining new employment would have done us in if we were living in a hotel or forced to sign a lease immediately. Money could have run o ut. Patience WOULD have run out. And egos would have been bruised too badly to mend, of this I am sure.

Back to the question, did we make the right decision? Hesitantly I say yes. Working a full-time job, with benefits, has brought on a new sense of hope. Without my job I would hands down say no, we jumped the gun. I believe we would have continued to muddle through, but with a feeling of failure and desperation. We would have settled which completely negates the move in the first place.

Last week was tough as I feared the worst with my new job. However, my loving sisters pointed out how MUCH had to fall into place for me to be in the position I am in right now. The gym I taught at HAD to have needed Front Desk Associates. My manager had to be understanding, engaging and encouraging. There HAD to be people who believed in me and my possibility. A job HAD to open up within the correct timeline. Someone HAD to be willing to take a chance and I had to be willing to accept a challenge.

Which is what the rest of this year and most of 2017 will be, a challenge. Learning new job responsibilities, creating tighter budgets due to smaller incomes and figuring out how to deal with life is what I see in the next six months. Hopefully, the next update will more upbeat and positive. I pray I'll lustily shout out YES, THIS WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE next blogpost, because things will have fallen more into place. That is my hope. That is my goal. That is my dream.
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18 comments:

Pamela {Sequins and Sea Breezes} said...

Major changes like that are always going to be difficult and there is always going to be the question "Did we make the right decision" but I'm glad you guys are settling in and despite the tough things, you made the right decision!

Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky said...

"I know there are people out there who feel vindicated we didn't get everything we wanted right out the gate" <-- I really hope this isn't true...it's awful that people actually wish misfortune on you? Pay no mind to those toxic asshats!

Life is challenging but you guys are doing amazing...makes the end goal that much sweeter. Creating a new life for yourself outside of your comfort zone is really hard and takes a lot of courage to take the plunge. Keep your head up, know that what you guys have may not be what was planned *at this moment* but keep working towards that goal and you WILL get there. celebrate the small victories (FT job, benefits, roof over your head, support and love from family etc), turn to each other for support. It'll be a long road but you WILL get there! xoxoxox

Nikki @ makeupHER said...

It's so scary doing something like what you guys did especially without knowing how things were going to turn out. I think everything happens for a reason and God put you guys where you are for a reason. I hope you are starting to find your footing. It's so hard not having your own space, I totally feel you on this one because we are living with our in-laws until we have enough saved up to buy a house. In the end, you guys will make it no matter where you guys are :)!

Leslie Lukens Martin said...

I commend your bravery...1) for taking the leap and making the move, and 2) for HONESTLY sharing your story! Hang in there, girl...the best is yet to come. My thoughts are with you as you navigate down this new path! XOXO

Katie Elizabeth said...

Girl, I hope no one is feeling vindicated that you may be struggling! Horrible! And I applaud you for putting this out there. It's real life and it's messy, but that's okay. God has a plan for you, even if it's hard to see in the moment! Thinking of you! xoxo

Ashley said...

Congrats on the new job!!! I believe that things have a way of working out right when you need them to!! You are right where you need to be and you will get to where you want to be in time!!

Elle Sees said...

Thank you so much for being and open and honest. In the blog world, we tend to show the best sides of ourselves, through rose-colored glasses. Thank you for sharing your struggles, as it lets us in and lets us give you more support, and lets those who are in the similar boat, know they are not along. HUGS!

Veronica-VeroSays! said...

Such a huge change and move..! I'm sure things will align the way you want them to! Go you for being that brace and making he move!!

Brianne said...

First of all, screw the people that feel vindicated...they suck.

Making that kind of move & life change is scary & difficult. You are both so brave for doing so. I'm so sorry that things are hard right now. I'm glad that they're starting to look up & I'm thinking about both of you.

Jen said...

Changes aren't easy that's for sure but I think you have made the most of them.

Chelsea said...

Keep your head up!!! God will lead you where he wants you. Everything will work out. Changes is always hard... You got this
Chelsea @ http://thewilliamsjourney1.blogspot.com

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

oh girl, we've lived with my mother in law for just over a week and i had a breakdown last night about not having our own space and 'did we make a huge mistake?' obviously not a huge huge move like you did and i know your situation is way different and i can't imagine how hard it has been, but i imagine that your situation is 100 times harder and bigger then you must have felt 100 times what i was feeling, and i felt like crap about it, so i just want to give you the biggest hug.
screw the people who are happy that you didn't get what you wanted straight away? are you freaking kidding me? they are horrible people taking joy from others misfortune, don't waste your time or energy thinking about them. screw them.
i am very sorry that this has been hard, but i still hold out hope that it gets better, especially with your job. it can only go up from here, right? i hope this is the perfect job for you and eventually you will find your perfect place, right? i truly hope things start to fall into place for you and you will one day look back on this time and laugh.. okay maybe no laughter for many many years, but i really hope things start to look up soon. you guys are amazing and this was a HUGE thing for you to do and had to have a hiccup or two. you will eventually get there, i am sure.
hugs to you xoxoxo

Rebecca Jo said...

I so love your honesty here.
I think NOTHING is ever as we plan, even though we want it to be that way so badly... I think you're doing a great job taking a leap of faith & just FLYING where the wind takes you. I think you are setting yourself up to live a life full of choices right now - not really 'tied down' to anything - that's a life so many of us really want. It's just making the adjustments to make that life feel 'secure' - but you're doing great so far. & you will continue to do so - I have no doubt!

Cece @Mahogany Drive said...

You were brave enough to try! That says a lot. Also, if you hadn't you would probably still be in turmoil thinking about doing it. Seems like it's something you felt compelled to try and you did and slowly but surely you will figure it out. Hang in there!!

BLovedBoston said...

You succeeded because you were both strong enough to take a chance!! That right there is Winning!

Lindsay Latimer said...

I just think it's AWESOME that you took a chance! We can't even move 40 miles west of here... so I admire what you've done. Not everyone has it in them to do it, you know? And things will work out the way they're supposed to. You've got this.

Laura Darling said...

Change is scary and hard, and think you're so brave to have taken that leap!

Nikki said...

Change is scary but trust in God and take heart because your faith will get you through. Praying for you guys!