December 1, 2016
Thoughts This First of December
New job: This job is bananas. Seriously, bananas. I walk into the gym in the morning with a plan and everyday that plan is changed and put to the test. Nothing starts the way it should and there is always SOMETHING I'm chasing to get done. I wanted a job not behind a computer and and did I get it. I'm on my feet constantly, either behind the desk checking people in or walking around trying to get things put away or handled. My boss is very supportive and I'm a huge fan of my coworker [oh hey single ladies in the area, holla me] which is good, but scheduling and managing a team of 16 is tough. Something is always going on, someone is always quitting, someone is always not showing up, someone is always asking for help. But, thankfully, someone is always stepping up, someone is always offering to help, someone is always filling the gap. Yet, the trying to get it all handled stresses me to the max. I'm not sleeping as well because I'm always worried about someone calling out overnight and I'm getting anxious driving into the parking lot because I never know what I'm walking into in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I know this is a great experience for my resume, but I already know this is NOT the career for me. I think I'll stay with the company as long as I can, but I don't know how long I'll last in this environment because of scheduling. We will see what the future brings and I'm gonna stick it out for awhile until I can get where I want with a job.
Being nomads: Okay, we're not really nomads, we have a place to live and have since we moved in June. However, it's someone else's home, not ours and it's tough. We are ever so blessed, but it's tough. Especially right now around the holidays. All I see online are people posting pictures of THEIR trees, THEIR decorations, THEIR traditions and at the moment we have NONE. There is NOTHING ours so there is nothing to decorate and make festive. I had a really down in the dumps moment when we came home on Sunday because I knew the Christmas season was right around the corner and there was nothing of ours to decorate. And then Monday happened. My aunt and uncle decorated their home and asked me to help them with the tree and it was the greatest time. We drank some wine, put on some Christmas music, forgot about the time and just enjoyed the moment. Being part of a new tradition brought me a new perspective on our transitional holiday season. I'm sad I'm missing out on our old traditions but look forward to experiencing and loving our new Tennessee life. Right now I'm sharing some wine with family and friends while they chat together and we listen to Christmas music. All in all, life is blessed and I'm thankful for all the good.
The big move: No, I'm not talking about my big move, I'm talking about my sister's. She is moving in January and as the date loom closer and closer I've started to feel more and more sad and anxious. As I've stated before, I know moving is just part of life and my family has been beyond lucky and blessed for being so closely located for so long. However, knowing change is part of life and being happy with change is two different things. I lost it over Thanksgiving because I realized how far away Arizona truly is from here. It is NOT drivable for a weekend. It is NOT a trip on just a whim. It is something to be planned and take vacation for and that means time away from my job. As stupid as it is to write at 33, I am NOW for the first time realizing how much my job can dictate my life, and the fact I can't just up and drive for a sissy reunion breaks my heart. I'm PROUD and excited for my sister, 100%! I'm just sad I won't be able to hug her and smell her and touch her and see her whenever I want. I'm so going to miss my best friend.
Future plans: Oh the future, what a scary and exciting thought right? I've kept this quiet because I didn't want to jinx it, but now I'm putting it into the universe as positive affirmation. Le Husband and I put an offer on a townhouse and potentially could close in the beginning of January. It's been crazy getting everything together for the loan and figuring out where we wanted to live. The location is phenomenal and I'm so hopeful everything will work out for us. I'm also starting to ponder the future of my job, my goals and what I want to do fitness-wise. I know where I want to be, I know what I want to do, I just don't know how I'll get there and how long it will take. Along those lines, I'm not sure where we stand with kids. Originally I thought we'd start a family next year but as of now it will be later than 2017 for sure. We need to be more stable [home and money wise], I need to feel more comfortable with a job future and we both definitely need to feel more ready to be parents.
This blog: Am I wasting my time? Do you all enjoy reading? Will I be happy I have this in a few years? Honestly, I don't know. I took some time to look through posts from this time last year and WOW, I was so much more on the ball and was so involved with y'all. And now, I just don't have the same amount of time and am so tired when I get home I barely open my MAC. I miss you guys, I miss my friends and I miss my community. I keep saying I want to come back, but I wonder if it's really in the cards. If it's something I need to be doing with my time. I might start a fitness blog, because I am getting my PT cert and thinking about doing an online business. Who really knows right now. But, know that even though I'm scarce, I'm still here and I'm still reading. It is usually on my phone when I can't comment, but I'm still here so don't leave me yet.
So that's me, y'all. What's going on with you?