May 3, 2017

I'm Scared...And That's Okay

Tomorrow is the big day. S  U  R  G  E  R  Y. That scary, ugly word. It's finally happening, kids.

And I'm so scared.

And that's okay.

I'm scared about being put under anesthesia. I know I'm healthy and strong, basically a best case scenarios but I'm still scared. Things can happen. Crazy things. Horrible things. Doctors aren't perfect. Things can go wrong. Who knows. So, yeah, I'm scared and that's okay.

I'm scared about how I'll feel afterwards. From everyone I know I've heard surgery is easy peasy lemon squeezy after dealing with attacks [the worst], so I'm hopeful. But, I'm also cautious. Sometimes I seem to be the one who has the worst reaction. And I hate feeling off, my body goes crazy when things aren't copacetic. I'm beyond grateful my mother will be in town to help me out, but being helpless is so not fun.

I'm scared about my recovery. The doctor said I could jump on the elliptical the next day if I wanted but I had to take two weeks off from teaching. I'm worried I'll lose tone. I'm worried I'll lose my shape and momentum. I'm scared my conditioning will tank. I'm scared this surgery will create something I'll have to overcome that I didn't have to deal with beforehand.

I'm scared about my diet afterwards. Will I be able to eat fats? Will my body be back to breaking down foods normally? Will I eat all the things? Will I get sick? Will I have to completely retrain my brain with food?

Basically I'm scared because I'm not in control. And that's okay. Surgery, any kind, is major and fear is okay. I believe everything will go well and I believe it will be fine, but I'm still scared. So, if you can, please say a could of prayers or kind words for me tomorrow. xx

17 comments:

Katie Elizabeth said...

Sending you so much love and prayers. God has got this! xoxo

Brianne said...

You got this girl! Thinking about you!

Pamela {Sequins and Sea Breezes} said...

Sending you all the thoughts and prayers girl! You got this!!! <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

Jessi @ Jessi's Design said...

Sending extra prayers!!!

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

Sending you all the prayers and hugs gurlie, you've got this! You're going to feel so much better, and you'll be back up there teaching in no time <3
Green Fashionista

Rebecca Jo said...

I get your anxiety - surgery makes me nervous too. You'll be fine though. Just keep repeating that to yourself.
Lifting a prayer for you!

Missy said...

Sending you hugs! The anticipation of surgery is sometimes the worst part. You are young and strong and healthy, you got this!

Kait said...

Sending you lots of good wishes! My dad has his gallbladder out a few years ago and it went SO well. I am praying yours does too!

Jen said...

Sending you lots of good thoughts for an easy surgery and a quick recovery. Hugs!

Erin LFF said...

I'll be thinking of you girlfriend. Prayers!

Emily at 'a little bit of Emily' said...

Good luck!!!

Foxy's Domestic Side said...

Thinking of you, I'm sure you'll do great, and recovery quickly.

BLovedBoston said...

Thinking of you and sending lots of love and prayers your way! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

Ashley said...

Best of luck!!!! Hoping for a speedy recovery!!

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

Praying for you today, friend!

The Siberian American said...

I hope everything went well today! <3

Laura Marie Keenan said...

Losing control is tough. Try to remember this will be such a short amount of time in the long run. Happy thoughts your way!