How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame. [all jokes found here]
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks? Dino-mite.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. [all jokes found here]
What did the traffic light say when it stayed on red? You would be red too if you had to change in front of everyone.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's pop corn?
What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A Slipper.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look grandpa, no hands.
Why are movie stars so cool? Because they have so many fans. [all jokes found here]
And my personal favorite: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEEEEEEEEESE!!!!
Look, even Ryan thinks I'm funny :)!
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