June 25, 2015

Oh-Oh-Oh OWN IT

[source]
I raid napkins from fast food joints or Starbucks EVERY TIME I visit to stock my car. I have napkins stashed everywhere for that unexpected spill that always happens. #napkinhoarder

Last week I burnt something in our work microwave but totally passed it off on an 'unknown'. I was so scared the fire department was going to come in because of the smoke so I just walked away. Nothing happened and I 'helped' clean up someone else's mess with my boss. #oops

I am not a big rule breaker. I like to know what I can and can't do and get nervous when I have to stretch those guidelines. 

Having notifications and unread emails drives me batty. I sometimes miss emails because I'll read them on the phone just to get rid of the red notification number.

I talk to myself in the car sometimes. With  my hands. And big faces.

Traffic makes me rage, literally. I go zero to aggressive driver in point five seconds.

Even though I am a hard worker, I'm not invested at my job and sometimes I'll slack because I'm bored.

I can ONLY eat food in even batches. If I have five M&Ms I'll grab one more so I eat an even number.

Planning is not my thing and something I don't enjoy very much. Well, I enjoy the big aspects but the nitty gritty details is so not my thing. My wedding planner was my saving grace and I felt like such a bad bride because I wasn't all "I LOVE THIS PLANNING THING" like everyone else.

I am jealous of my husband's athletic ability.

When I'm really bored at work I'll cue up old DCC  Making the Team episodes for background noise. Kelli Finglass is my woman crush and it's fun watching the hair flips and high kicks.

Being fake to people I have to deal with is extremely tough. I hate not being able to tell it like it is because I've chosen to take the high road and not start drama. Work fakeness is the the worst to me, though.

I will pull up blogs I no longer follow just to check and see if the author is still as cuckoo bird as when I last read. Seeing how fake people are online makes me realize how good my life is because I don't have to 'pretend' for others. #sadyouthinkthatsspecial

Linking up with *christina* *megan* *kristin* *annie*

37 comments:

Pamela {Sequins and Sea Breezes} said...

Haha I don't remember the last time I bought napkins... why buy them when you can get them for free-ish? And I'm not a big rule breaker either. And yes to the aggressive driver thing! I'll be totally cool then "oh you think you're cutting in front of me?! NOPE!" LOL!

<3, Pamela
Sequins & Sea Breezes

BLovedBoston said...

I think it's interesting that you are jealous of your husband's athleticism because you are seriously one of the most athletic people I know! When I had a car in Florida I would do the same thing with napkins, but now I don't think about it! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

Alana Livingston said...

Umm ditto on everything!! I love that you burned something and walked away bahahahahaha

Michelle said...

I do the exact same thing on your #4, that pesky red notification icon - and because I type so fast, I am always losing emails, typos, etc. I drive myself crazy. Also, love your comment on the last - cuckoo birds online, etc, etc. Makes me laugh because I think it is just me who thinks this way. Too funny!

twopeasinablog said...

I adore this post! l enjoy getting to "know" more about bloggers that I follow and love! My daughter burnt her mac n cheese in our microwave earlier this week - the smoke and the smell was ridiculous! At times I can still smell it! That's so funny that you walked away. I'm the same with driving! Why are there so many bad drivers!??? Sometimes, I'll even hear the kids in the backseat making comments! oops!
Katey
http://www.twopeasinablog.com

Amanda {Kids and Cabernet} said...

We are seriously almost the same person! I do #1 all of the time and you had me cracking up at #2. Also, I'm not a rule breaker either, I'm too scared! And my sister is like you, with eating in even batches. I always drive her crazy giving her uneven numbers for everything LOL - sisterly love!

Nikki said...

Oh my so so many of these are me to a T! Napkins...YUP! Talk to myself in the car? YUP! I even sing at the top of my lungs! LOL!

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

Haha I don't buy napkins either unless we're having a party, then I buy the ones that are like a dollar and go with the color scheme. Done and done! And I talk to myself in the car too, especially when I have "traffic rage" :-P

Cory (playdates and prescriptions) said...

Hahah these were cracking me up!! I love them all. #Napkinhoarder
And I am obsessed with DCC making the team. Shhouldn't there be a new season starting soon??

Kathy@RealTalk said...

i'm a crazy anal retentive planner and have to have everyone planned out to the last detail. when i was planning my daughter's bday, the theater couldn't give me information until the week leading up to the day of her party and i was like HOW DO YO GUYS FUNCTION? THAT'S WAY TOO LATE!!

Teh Megan said...

I, too, am a napkin hoarder. This is in part due to the fact that I was a nosebleed kid so we ALWAYS needed to have something to plug up the random bleeds.
I am bad for clearing notifications, but I don't delete emails until they are resolved. Having a cluttered inbox makes me crazy, so it's motivation to accomplish whatever task is necessary to clear it out.
I finish conversations/arguments in the car/shower and totally look like a crazy person as I'm "yelling" at no one.

Amanda Bullard said...

Napkin hoarders unite!!!!!! My inbox is a disaster. Does it really take that much of my effort to select and delete? Obviously! Love the post girl! xo Amanda

Liz Joiner said...

Love reading your confessions, I confess I'm a big fan of reading others confessions, but hate confessing myself. My grandma loved taking napkins, and the plastic utensils of any place we went. It embarrassed my grandfather to no end

liz @ sundays with sophie

Courtney B said...

We used to be the biggest napkin hoarders until we had Mia... it is ALL about the wipes, man! I will carry those around with me until the day I die now, ha ha!
You are so funny, you do realize how athletic you are, right?! Especially for a woman! You're more like SUPER woman ;)
I always love reading these types of posts with you and it always makes me super sad that we don't live close because we would totally be BFF's!

Jen said...

I'm not a rule breaker either! I used to get so nervous when bosses asked me to do something that was breaking the smallest rule.

Brianne said...

I am SUCH a napkin hoarder! My glove compartment in my car is almost always full. Ya just never know.

I talk/sing in my car all the time too. Expressions & all. I'm sure when I'm in traffic people either enjoy the show in my car or think I'm bat shit crazy lol.

Sarah said...

haha, I love this post! My husband always asks me why I never have napkins from places in my car, and he hoards them for me, lol. Mostly because he'll spill something and open the glove compartment and find no napkins, hehe. I love DCC making the team, I hope they do it again this year! It's totally addictive, and crazy how much they go through to get on the team! Yes to traffic...arg. I unfortunately have to deal with it all to often, boo! Yes to the rule breaker thing!

emily @ a little bit of emily said...

I hate traffic, too. I get SO angry and if I think people aren't driving well, I have a tendency to use my horn. I just feel like they need to be aware of what they are doing. :)

Carolyn said...

HAHAHA! Love this! I should definitely start stealing napkins. I'm horrible at it and am really good at spilling. :)

Katie Elizabeth said...

I was JUST thinking about how I wish DCC would come back on soon this morning!! So funny! I think we should plan a fall trip to Texas for a football game to see them in person ;)

christina @ the new mrs said...

Haha I am so not a rule breaker either – and my husband so is – makes for some funny situations and conversations sometimes! I love making the team – one of my favorites for sure, it's the only way Derek gets me down to Texas! Well not really haha I love going but I watch the cheerleaders the whole entire game every time.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I also feel more comfortable with rules and knowing what I can and can't do. My husband is a rule breaker like ^^ above and it definitely makes things interesting!

We just sold my car and good Lord the number of napkins in there...

Kathleen said...

I feel the EXACT same way about traffic! Especially when there is traffic for absolutely NO REASON!! It makes me want to scream and turn into the Hulk. And I am the exact same way about emails and notifications. I hate seeing those red numbers on my IPhone. I have to make them go away as soon as I get them!

Happy Thursday! :)

Amanda June said...

Love this!! I am not a rule breaker either. I have also gone back to peoples blogs I no longer follow and 99% of the time they are definitely just a cooky as they were before. I don't deal well with fakeness either.. be real people!!

Mattie @ Northwest Native said...

I have tons of random napkins in my car. I think maybe even some straws? It used to be my dad's though, so I blame him for those! I love that you pretended the burnt food was someone else's and helped clean it up! Haha!

Erin LFF said...

Just about all of these are applicable to me too! :) Why can't we be IRL friends?!! Chipotle napkins are everywhere in my life haha!

Joey @ Hodgespodges said...

Ugh yes! I do the same thing with email notifications. I'm terrible at actually remember to reply because I just want the notification gone!

Robin said...

I have been to some blogs that seemed rather fake! Yeah, Fake Blogger, your kids always sit that perfectly and never cry or yell. Your husband *isn't* miserable about taking 25 very similar pictures in the same spot (sometimes you can see it in the poor men's eyes) so you can show off the outfit that had to be perfectly-coordinated for dinner at a casual pizza restaurant.

Queen In Between said...

I have been so out of pocket and catching up now...I have missed you and your funny and honest self! I share the disdain for planning the detail and having to "fake" it at work and I also have to eat things in even numbers. I also typically sort my m&m's by color first. Have a great day!

Jess said...

Ha ha ha! I love all of yours. I raid napkins at restaurants too. My glove box is so full. I also hate when there are red numbers on my phone. I have missed emails numerous times because I click them and forget to read them. Oops!! :)

Evelina said...

I caaaaaaan't stand having unread texts or emails! I need to deal with them as soon as I see them!

Kristin said...

This is so great! I too have some road rage issues and have to watch myself now that I have a small passenger listening to everything I say AND I think I need to follow your lead and start hoarding napkins because I ALWAYS spill and have nothing to help.

Myra said...

OMG, I'm a total napkin hoarder too! Sorry not sorry. And emails/text messages - must.be.read.asap. I just hate seeing notifications on my phone, so think of the anxiety that takes over when I look at my husband's phone and he has 928429249 notifications. Ew.

Ashley said...

Traffic… oh traffic. I get some serious road rage in Atlanta!

Illegally Blonde said...

Please tell me I am one of those cuckoo birds you still look up? Love you

Jessi @ Jessi's Design said...

We are the same with the napkins girl and they are ALL over my car! My husband laughs every time he sneezes or something and I whip one out like a napkin ninja! Also, your woman crush just may be mine as well!! LOVE her! (and love you!)

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

i absolutely hoard napkins as well! KC calls me the 'spillingest' which isn't even a word but absolutely fits me haha. if something can be spilled, i will spill it.