WORTH to the LESS

Yup, you heard me. My body is WORTHLESS! I hate it! I am so over it! I want another one.

No, I'm not talking about being overweight or upsets with the muscle tone

(although that's another POST in itself)

My body is broken and I am at my WIT's end trying to fix it.
I've tried PT! Fail
I've tried not doing anything for weeks! Double Fail cause I'm miserable&fat
I've tried going to a podiatrist! Fail plus waaaaaaay too expensive
I've tried just working out through the pain! Triple fail plus some tears!
I've had it! I've had it! I've HAD IT!!!

I CAN'T play soccer!

I CAN'T play kickball!

I CAN'T run!

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ACTIVE!!!

And it's making me insanely crazy, unhappy, miserable, overweight, untoned, grumpy, exhausted, any other adjective that means not happy.

{insert boo chorus heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere}

You have NO idea how much it kills me to not be active. I am an energizer bunny who is constantly on the go. I can't STAND not working out, playing soccer or just RUNNING! I've never been that girl (sorry if anyone reading is). I have ALWAYS been that girl on the team that would run the extra mile with someone else, who was first in sprints, who was the most in shape (running wise) on the team, who would never stop. And now...NOW I'm the girl who can't even wear heels because my shins hurt. I am the girl who can't go to the gym and run or work out. YOGA even bothers me. I am the girl who lets her team down because she can't play. I am the girl who doesn't want to go to practices because I am no longer one of the best.

I have an acupuncture appointment again today and I am hoping and praying it works. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I am ACTUALLY going in for a physical tomorrow morning (and getting blood drawn...eeeep) to see what I can find out. Hopefully everything will be fine and they'll just shoo me on my way. But I'm scared it's something more because my body can't just stop working right at my age right!?!?! I've never done drugs and I drink socially at most. I eat junk food but who doesn't? I have tried to clean up my eats recently and was trying to incorporate workouts more, despite being hurt.

If you get a second say a prayer for me. For my mental state of mind and for tests.

I know things could be worse, by my normal BAU life is affected and it is taking it's toll.

It's the MOST WONDERFUL time in 4 Years

WOMEN'S WORLD CUP

WOMEN'S WORLD CUP

WOMEN'S WORLD CUP!!!

It's that time ladies and THIS GIRL is STOKED!!! Are you?!!?! If not here are some pictures and thoughts to GET YOU STOKED TOO!

SOOOO TRUE!

You best believe at lunch my work TV will be tuned to the USA game.

I was PLASTERED to the tv when the Women won, on HOME soil in 1999! These girls were my role models. I didn't care about models, boys, tv, actresses or what I looked like. I just wanted to play soccer and BE LIKE THEM!

BEST MAGAZINE COVER EVER!!! I dressed like her for Halloween in college!

These women were the Michael Jordans, Andre Agassis, Troy Aikmans for young girl soccer players. They BUSTED their tails to get were they were, because back then women got nothing for playing on the National team. But, I still dreamed of playing on the team with these strong and BAD ASS soccer players.

Mia Hamm, Julie Foudy, Michelle Aikers, Brianna Scurry, Tiffany Milbret, Cindy Parlow, Carla Overbeck, Trisha Veterini, Kristinie Lilly, Shannon MacMillan, Brandi Chastain, Joy Fawcett!

These ladies were my INSPIRATION!

And now it's a new team and a new age. US Women's soccer hasn't done so well in the past few years but THIS is the time to turn everything around. THIS new team is gonna breathe new life into Women's soccer and I CAN'T WAIT!

Okay it's 10 minutes until kickoff so time to heat up my food and get the channel ready!

USA

USA

USA!!!!

I'm in LOVE I'm in LOVE

AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!!

That's right ya'll, this post is a mushy-gushy I'm so happy with Le Beau and I am completely 100% certain THIS is how I want to feel the rest of my life.

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, NO I am not engaged. Not ready for that step yet. C and I will mark a year of dating next month, and I am happy where we are in life. We are content, we are in love, we are in sync, we are soooo coupley right now.

And

Now

I

Get IT

THIS IS WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE!

All the LOVE songs make sense right now. Every time a sweet love song comes onto the radio I smile to myself and think of C. I finally have THAT person that makes the words come to life. They have meaning, they have life, they have US!

Oh me oh my, I'm an "US"!!! I am no longer just a ME! Biggest shocker in the world, I'M OKAY WITH IT!!!!
I LIKE having someone to consider and think about before I do something. I adore having someone to hold my hand when we walk to the grocery store. I get swept away every time we share a kiss, be it peck or longer. I want to be around C as MUCH as I can, even if we are just running errands or doing chores.

I'm usually not one to put down in writing to the world how I feel about someone. If we were facebook friends you wouldn't see much about how I feel about C. I mean, we have pictures together, but they aren't "Me and my boo who I love and adore so much! xoxo" (If that's you, I'm not judging, that's sweet. It's just not how I roll) My big thing about talking about my love is, WHAT DO I DO IF IT ALL GOES AWAY! I don't want some mushy post coming back to haunt me ya know?!?! And maybe it will here, but you know what? That's 2394803% A-OK with me.

Because no matter WHAT the future brings regarding C, I want to remember this feeling I have RIGHT NOW! This "Everything is alright in the world feeling". This "Now I understand what people mean when they say you know" feeling. This "Wow, I really COULD wake up next to this person every morning and feel like the luckiest girl in the world". THIS right here, RIGHT NOW is WHY it didn't work out with all those OTHER guys. THIS is the Love of your life. THIS is that happy feeling you hold onto when the grey days come around.

Le Beau has no idea I have a blog so he will probably never see this. But that's okay, this blog is mostly for me, but on the off chance I tell him here's a quick letter to my honey.
Dearest C,
Thank you for loving me. For choosing me and for showing me what REAL LOVE IS. You have changed my life forever and I want to thank you for all you do and all you are to me. I TRULY LOVE you with all of my PINK heart!
xoxo
Miss P!nky

HAPPY FRIDAY!

EEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?!?!?

I am bazillion-million-gooberzillion types of excited, wanna no why?

My best friend L is gonna have another BABY!

That's right Fresh Prince is gonna have a little princess/prince sibling!

I am soooo happy for her sweet family. They recently just closed on their FIRST HOME which was exciting in itself, but a new baby?!? Stop the world and bring on the storks!

If you couldn't tell, I JUST FOUND OUT THE AWESOME NEWS! She told me yesterday after she told her family. So, right now we are a 'No Facebook' gag order. BUUUUT since NO ONE in my real life knows about my blog I can

Scream

it

From

the

Blog

RAFTERS!!!!

I can't wait to meet this precious bundle of joy. January can't get here soon enough!

Happy weekend loves!

I GOT STUCK

BY NEEDLES!!!! AHHHHHHHH

That's right, Miss Deathly Afraid of Needles Girl (That's Me) went to her first Acupuncture appointment yesterday. Acupuncture=Needles=Veryagitated Miss P!nky!

But, these shin splintsslashankleproblemsslashmegatightcalvesslashpainpainpain has become such a hindrance to my life that I was willing to try ANYTHING to get fixed. I made the appointment and felt fine until the day of the appointment.

NEEDLES ME NO LIKEY!

My anxiety stemmed from NOT wanting to look like this!

Luckily (for me) C has his own issues with his legs and needed an appointment too. So, lil miss scardy-cat made a double appointment for the both of us. YES, I'm a baby so sue me. Proof: the lady I talked to when making the appointments commented most couple appointments are for FERTILITY treatments. (Yeah, no..... bebes me not wantey right now)

Well appointment time came yesterday and we were all coupled up in the Dr's office talking about our symptoms. Surprisingly I agreed with A LOT of what she said about our bodies and how we need to treat them. Apparently with Eastern medicine it is more about heat than cold. Her big thing was Cold equals closer to death. So everything she did with us was about heat, and getting the blood flowing.

We had great conversation and she has had great success "fixing" our issues. After explaining my fear of needles she was very frank and said "Yes, it will hurt, but not because of the needle. It will hurt because the needle will unblock the stagnant QI". Fair enough, thanks for the honesty now let's just keep me from looking like this guy!

C went first and then she came and did my shins. The right leg was fine once the needles were in but I had some aggravation with the left leg. Apparently the left is worse than the right. We were also giving a Thai massage and Gua Sha treatment. I will have to explain that more when we get our backs done. I promise it will be interesting.

After everything was said and done, I felt a slight release in my shins but mostly a 'difference'. It wasn't better or worse just a different feeling but a welcome one. I am still a little sore today where I had needles in my body, but my shins aren't bothering me. C and I have to practice our own Gua Sha and then we are going back next week. I am highly optimistic this will work and hopefully I can write another post that says "I'm HEALED".

Funny note: My family KNOWS how afraid I am of needles and were VERY surprised when I told them I was considering acupuncture. I still like my parents to be with me if I have to get a shot {Miss Wuss I KNOW}. BabySpice even called me and sang a version of LiLo's Rumors, but hers was about needles instead of being a train wreck. Soo silly that one.

Have a great day!

WILW

Happy Wednesday ladies! I'm linking up with Jaime for What I'm Loving Wednesdays!

{1}I am loving that this gooberhead finished teaching her FIRST year of school! Yep, SportySpice is done teaching for the year and I AM SOOOO PROUD OF HER! She is amazing with children and did such a terrific job this year. I sent her flowers to say congrats, I mean, I am her biggest fan.

{2} OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH TODDLERS AND TIARAS IS BACK!!!Please don't judge, but I LOVE THIS SHOW. The kids are ridiculous and the parents are horrible, but I can't get enough. Little Makenzie is the cream of the spoiled crop and SHE'S BACK! I've got my popcorn and wine READY!

{3}I am loving this sweet coffee cup C got me for his place. Such a charmer right?!!?

{4}I'm loving little Muffin and Mackey! Sweet Muffin is 14 years old and getting really really slow. She's had some health issues in the past and it's getting close to that time. I'm super sad thinking about it and I know Mama B will be devastated (These were her mother's dogs before she passed away). She's been rocking that snuggie like a model though!

{5}

I'm loving where I live. How can I not living among such amazing history and architecture. I get to hang out by these buildings every week for kickball games. Kickball on the Mall folks, that's WHERE IT'S AT!

{Washington Monument}

{The Jefferson}

{6}

I am loving this guy!

{Ps.com those are sparkles on our faces and bodies not boo-boos}

xoxo

Insecurities suck

**Warning: This could be seen as a pity-party mumbo-jumbo post. Please forgive me for my non-p!nk day**

INSECURITIES SUCK A BIG ONE!

Yup, there I said it: I AM INSECURE!

About alot of things; about my weight, about my scars, about my height, about my lack of figure.

Seriously, the list could GO ON AND ON AND ON!

Usually, I can battle those demons and make them go away.

I KNOW I am blessed.

I KNOW I have family and friends that love me.

I KNOW I am lucky to have food, water, shelter and a job.

I KNOW I have a boyfriend who loves and cares about me.

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

But hell if these INSECURITIES don't just rear their little unwanted heads.

And DRAT if they don't have the ability to RUIN my head and my day.

You THINK you are done with something that happened in the past, say 6ish years ago. You were hurt....HURT REALLY REALLY BADLY. A huge blow to your ego and your life. Was one of the hardest points of college, but it made you stronger. You brushed yourself off, you stood up for yourself and you moved on.

But. you. didn't. forget.

You guard your heart. You guard your head. You WORRY CONSTANTLY about it.

YOUCANTLETITGO!

But you try and try and try. And some days it feels like its gone.

All rainbows and butterflies.

THEN

BAM!

Like a COLD SHOWER that insecurity slaps you SMACK in the face.

And brings you to your knees.

and not to pray.

But, to cry and cry and cry.

The hardest thing being, this is something sooo

personal

You can't share it with any of your girlfriends. And being a non solitary sistah, it hurts even more to try and conquer this one on your own. Just when you think you've figured it back out and are STRONG WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR, that one little itty bitty question peeks it's head up again and crumbles your walls before the mortar and cement have dried.

However, the words "I LOVE YOU" can mean the difference between light and dark. Those three simple words and "Throw those insecurities out the window" can help bring you back to the world of rainbows and butterflies. A lap to cry in and the kissing away of tears can give you strength to smile, regroup and move on.

"It's a good thing he did huh??!?!?"

WILW

Good morning lovies! I'm linking up again with Miss Jamie for WILW, enjoy!

~1~I'm loving I got to listen to my FAVORITE men this week on TV. I have SERIOUS voice crushes on Gary Sinise and Mike Rowe. I could listen to their shows forever. And yes, C, is 100% aware of this and often will make fun of me when one of their shows come on.

SWWWOOOON!

}Gary Sinise{


}MIKE ROWE{


~2~ I'm loving all of the pictures from the wedding I went to this weekend.
Here's a new one for ya'll! Aren't my sissys BEAUTIFUL?!?!?!?


~3~I'm loving this JAM session video Babyspice and I had while driving to the wedding. Okay okay I mean crawling to the wedding. And YES I know jamming while driving is not the smartest thing to do, however 1) we were going 2.5 miles an hour B)Most of the jerkiness is from Babyspice 4) we had been sitting in horrible traffic for 30 minutes already.


Please forgive the angle of the video, my iphone was NOT working with us!

~4~ And as per the usual I'm loving all of the fun new blogs/friends I meet through WILW!

Have a great day pretties!

WEDDINGCAP!

What up homies?!?!? How was your weekend? Can you believe it's MONDAY already...GAH! Big booooo card for that. The only good thing about today is C got back into town late last night after being out of town for a week plus and we get to hang out today....YAY!

My weekend was faboo....tiring but FAB-to the-LOUS! A good friend got married this weekend and all three B sisters were in attendance. We have known the bride for a long time (since I was 9 I think?) and she is one of SportySpice's bffs. It's twice as nice though cause the bride's sister and I are really close too so I've been helping her plan the wedding which was sweet.

WARNING: This is a photo heavy post!!!

BabySpice and I goofing off in the bathroom before the wedding. SASS-A-FRASS!

SportySpice was soooo pretty!

YAY just married!!!! {Sorry so blurry}

First dance! They were soooo cute and are sooo in love!

Beautiful table decorations
Working HARD on that dress
LOVE my sissys

My NEW FAVORITEST PICTURE!!!!!
The Groom's cake was made by a Food Network contestant.

A Manhattan, Dirrty Shirley and White Wine....OH MY!

Swim Team Ladies
The cake was DELISH!

SportySpice and her escort reenacting their entrance. He smacked her hiney and she smacked him back. It was HILARIOUS but the photographer was in the way so I have no pictures of it.

Reaching for the garter....Wait, what's this?!!?
YUP, she ICED him using her garter. HYSTERICAL!!!

SportySpice caught her 4th bouquet! You heard me correct, 4th bouquet. I'm sure BlackOps is happy he isn't here right now wink wink!

Could they be any prettier?!!!? SERIOUSLY!

After the bride and groom were sent off in a boat (they're on a boat) the sissy's and I went to decorate their suite. This was our gift to them and I think it turned out lovely.

Why, yes that would be a box of Hot Tamale candy by the pillows. Gotta keep it HOT right?!?
SportySpice commemorating 2 months down for BlackOps deployment. PRESH!
PHEW, what a night. I had such a blasty with my sissys, we know how to break.it.down!

I am wiped out though. Super happy for dinner tonight with my boo and just relaxing.

Have a great Monday everyone!