Stream of Consciousness

***Disclaimer: If you are looking for a happy post or something to make you feel good use the red X to the right immediatly. This post is NOT for making anyone feel better***

The weather here is really crappy today. Rainy, cold, yucky and just blah! Fits my mood perfectly. I've been down in the dumps lately and I have no earthly idea why. I'm moping and not fun. I feel fake smiling. I honestly don't really FEEL much right now. Except like this!

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I am not editing my thoughts right now, maybe that will help me get to the heart of my problem. I've found I'm sad as soon as I drive home. I'm not bursting into the room like I usually do. I am responsive and polite, but I'm NOT out going or fun, giggly, silly, crazy...which is normal for me. C is not really sure what is going on and bless his heart he is asking me what's wrong. He's trying, but right now I really don't care. I've just told him "I'm tired" when he asks "what's wrong". Monday he said "I don't like you tired" which made me smile a little, because it makes me feel that he likes my craziness. Sometimes I feel I'm too much for him to take and that positive affirmation meant a lot. But apparently not enough, because I was watching TV with him last night looking like her.

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My mood is affecting my blogging too. I feel like I HAVE NOTHING important to say. Everyone out there talks about their life or their passion and I am blown away by what they have going on in their lives. People have focus, have heart, have drive have MEANING and I feel all I do is write about my weekend and then a random list of confessions. How boring! How does that make anyone better for reading? I don't take pretty pictures. I can't 'create' my own recipes. My DIY gene is non-existent. I'm not on Pintrest and really don't care to be. I enjoy makeup and fashion but am in NO way a guru or able to really give advice. I don't have the money to try new products and write reviews. I don't think anyone would care if I wrote about sports. Fitness is important to me, but it is not my passion. Endorphins after working out are AWESOME but I still struggle to make it to the gym sometimes so I can mark a big X through fitnesssybloggying. SPORTS are my passion, but there really isn't anything out there for me.

I am having huge ENVY/GRASS is greener issues at the moment as well. Cyberstalking people on facebook and becoming SO jealous about what their lives are like. EVERYONE is married! Everyone has babies! People are dating sports super stars! People have amazing job opportunities now because they have worked their tails off early on. And I'm STILL sitting at this job I got when I was 24. JUST a job, not a career. I wanted to go into sports broadcasting, hit one speed bump and dropped my dream. Now every time I see Erin Andrews on TV I get sad. Don't get me wrong, she is gorgie and amazing and I am happy she is living her dream, but I WANTED THAT DREAM. And every day it's one day farther away. And I'm STUCK here! I am too scared to take ANY chances. I suck.

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 I have always prided myself in being fit and strong. I don't have curves, never have never will. I am petite and look like I'm in high school still, even though I am almost 30. I'm not gorgeous or a model, but I was always the envy of my friends for being SO in shape and SO fit. I had the six pack! I had the tight booty! I had the toned and defined arms. I was the fastest on my soccer team. I was tiny but could hold my own on the field! When I felt insecure I would hold stock that I was FIT and in shape. And the kicker, I didn't have to try that I hard. I could eat whatever I wanted and soccer practice would take it all away.

But NOW, yeah peace out hot body. My weight has plateaued and it sucks. I'm soft in places I was NEVER soft. My stomach is flab! My booty...yeah it's just big. I'm not strong anymore. I can't run because of my shins, but I do it anyway on the elliptical. Leaving the gym I am high on endorphins, but also LOW because I'm in pain. But I'm NOT quitting. I did that last year and I got fat. I hated my body and my self esteem plummeted. Never again.

You know what else sucks...I hate food now. Everything is the same. We eat peppers, onions, garlic and then a protein. Fixed the same way, all the time. Chicken, beef, shrimp or fish. No starches or complex carbs. No rice! No pasta! I hate the caveman paleo diet C is SO gungho about. But I do it anyway because again, I don't want to be fat. I shop at Whole Foods and spend a fortune but to what gain? I miss chips! I miss spaghetti! I want rice and pasta and potatoes!!!! I'm surviving on larabars, salads, nuts, larabars and water at my office. I get home and I'm hungry. I eat dinner and I'm hungry. I wake up hungry, but don't have anything to eat because I haven't been grocery shopping. Food used to be fun. Now it's just substance. That sucks.

If you've made it this far you deserve a medal. Trust me, I know this is a super huge pity post but I really don't care. I'm typing stream of consciousness and this is what has come out. I JUST WANNA SCREAM! I wanna slap myself silly for being so upset about NOTHING. A sweet blogger friend of mine just had surgery and I'm complaining?!?! My coworker had a health scare yesterday and I'm complainig!?!? There was a shooting at an Ohio HS and I'm complaining?!?! There is a war that Blackhops is helping to fight and I'm complaining?!!?!?!

This weekend was great fun with friends and family celebrating SportySpice's birthday. The love in my apartment was apparent, you could see it everywhere. My BFF T and I are back to a good place and I am so thankful. I adore my friends, le Beau and family, they are wonderful. Buttttttttt, something is wrong! Something is missing! Something doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is.

Get a grip child! Get a grip!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPORTYSPICE!

Sunday was SPORTYSPICE'S GOLDEN BIRTHDAY, can I get a whoop whoop!?!?!

(whoopwhoop)

Her party was super fantastic and yesterday we had quality family moving time and a fun dinner. I did not have my ISH together to have this post UP on her birthday, so let's pretend today is the day, mkay!?!?

Middle Sissys SportySpice is the apple of my left eye (remember Babyspice has the right eye) and a complete charmer. This lady will meet you and quickly make you her new best friend. She has an amazing way of bridging the gap between age, race, gender, to make everyone feel comfortable. Maybe that's why she is the best teacher lady in the whole world. Seriously, her talent with children is an incredible feat to behold. And if you EVER need a laugh, just make sad eyes to her and in .05 seconds you will be dying of laughter.

Please enjoy my post dedicated to the bestest middle sister EVER

My fellow COWBOYS cheerleader! One day we will be on DCC!

Your drive to run the 10 miler was so inspiring, very proud of you sissy

 

Everything is a photo op with you



No matter what you wear you looook gorgie!

I have learned HOW incredibly strong you are this year. You have been the most supportive girlfriend while BlackOps has been deployed and I KNOW he appreciates the support. I look up to YOU for strength!

Ohhhhhh hi matchy matchy sillywilly

Sweet warmup outfit! I was your #1 timing fan....

BEST STAGE MOTHER EVER!!!!!!!

Did I NOT say you were HILARIOUS!?!?!? COMICALLY!!!

Ok, I see where your fashion started. Nothing has really changed..sweet pink shoes

GIMME YOUR MUSCLES!

I loved watching you wear green TWICE across a stage! Wooohooo MASTERS!

GOLDEN BIRTHDAY GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL!

Dearest Sportyspice,
Haaaaaappppy Happpppyyy Golden birthay my lovie! WOW you are soooooooooo big (since I am small right?!?!?) and sooooooo grown up now. I am always blown away by your gift with children and every time I see you in the classroom my heart swells. You are LIVING your work dream right now and I know every kid hopes to be in your classroom. This past year has been a hard one, but you have passed with flying colors. When I need strength I NOW turn to you. Thank you for standing by your solider and proudly supporting our military, and for doing it with a smile! Speaking of smiles, I can't help but smile or laugh whenever we are together. Your humor makes my day and I am SO LUCKY to have you as my middle sister. Amazing things are coming your way my sweet lovebug, just trust and pray! God blessed our family with you and I am oh so thankful. I love you to the moon and back sweet Sportyspice!
xoxo,
little BIG sissy!

Confession Fridays

Oh hey Friday, took you long enough getting here. I'll forgive you this week.

Just please don't let it happen again mmmmkay?!?!?

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THESE ARE MY CONFEEEEEEEEESSSSSSIONS

{Check out the BLONDE AMBITION for other confessions!}

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1) I heart kickball. Ok, waiting for you to stop laughing...it's cool. But really, last night I was thinking and some of my now closer friends...and LE BEAU...are a direct result of kickball. Call us crazy adults playing a kid game, but I seriously wouldn't trade the past 2 years for ANYTHING.

2) I DO NOT HEART CAPTCHA on blogger. I adore all of my bloggie friends so PLEASE don't take offense, but this feature has GOT TO GO! They have NOW  made it 2 words to type and I'm sorry, Pinky just doesn't have the patience time for that nonsense. Can we all band together and throw this feature out the window?!?!? THANKS!

3) My apartment looks like a tornado touched down and decided to stay awhile. The funnel stayed a particularly long time in my room. DISASTER! I have unpacked from Florida but have NO put away the laundry or warm weather clothing. Good thing people are coming over this weekend so I HAVE to get my booty in gear.

4) Breakfast has been NON existent this week except for Larabars. Eating healthy FAIL!

5) Tonight will be the 2nd...yes 2nd...night this week C and will be eating Lobster and Steak. High rollers...NO! Lobster on sale for $5 YES PLEASE!!!

6) If you read my recap yesterday, you know that I am on a Kickerball podcast. If you watched yesterday, you saw me recapping the events of the South Florida tournament, which included some fun adult beverages. I misspoke while reporting about an event and blamed it on drinking (lost brain cells) and then said "Sorry Mom & Dad!". Check out the text I received from my father last night.

IS this not HYSTERICAL!!!! Love my family!

7) Tomorrow we are celeberating SportySpice's GOLDEN birthday and I am super excited! My BFF T is coming down to party and I can't wait! This is going to be a super super fun weekend :)!

SMILE

I'm also linking up with Shannon at Page-22 for Fun Photo Fridays!

This was take almost a year ago (this upcoming weekend)! We celebrated SportySpice's Birthday and man was it fun. This picture CLEARLY shows how the night progressed....BIG sissy always watching out :)!

Have a great weekend pretties! xoxo

Florida in February = FIERCEFUN

South Florida Kickball Open is over....and I'm a sad bunny.

This tournament is one of my absolute favorites!

I'm talking

slightly #2 behind the Circuit Cup Championship (NOLA...HOLA!)

{get hypecupped}

As mentioned before, my team did not win (stillpissypantsaboutit), but overall it was a fantastic time with fantabulous people. Unfortunately I was a HORRIBLE photographer and only took pictures two different days.

We left for Florida Thursday morning.........

OH{EM}GOSH Y'ALL!

Guess what couple ALMOST missed their flight?!?!?

Because the hottiewithabodychick mixedup the times??!?!?

YEAH.....-->THISGIRL<--Read the landing time as take off time.

Luckily, one of the guys on our team sent a text that made C check the times

plane leaving at 1:50pm (per me)

left at 11:30am

Mind you, we figured this out at 9:30am!

Thank the SAWEEET Lord we both live only 10 minutes
from the airport and
were already packed.
Heeeeeeeeellllo getting to the gate 10 minutes before boarding.

I'll save y'all the travel details because, well they are boring.
 All you need to know is the group house was SAWEET
 and our hotel room was pretty awesome too.
(we always stay separate from the team
because I'm the WORST sleeper in the world.
I adore my teammies and friends
but their party style does NOT bode well
for a happy Pinky)

Thursday night was a teammates Birthday and a Kickerball bar crawl which was off the chain. We all had a blasty and enjoyed some choice beverages. The crawl encompassed 4 completely different bars (Dive bar, biker bar, club bar, dance bar) with different specials at each. The best part was they were all pretty close so high heels weren't too big of a problem.
Side note: My outfit was AWESOME but I didn't get a picture...DARN!

After a fun time drinking and dancing it was time to go home and get some sleep. C figured it was time to go home when I looked like I was gonna fight some 6' 5" dude because he kept bumping into me and was acting rude. Good call honey good call!

Outfit matching kids

Me, one of my cohosts and creator of "Cool Story Brah!"

Friday was chill out day till practice time and it was gorgeous outside. I was REALLY good about sunscreen this trip and barely got a lil tan so take that sunburn! Practice was fun, although we were heckled by kids on a school bus, but hey what are you gonna do?

We had a team dinner at this FANTASTIC place...which just so happened to be linked to one of the bar crawl dance floors....RANDOM anyone? The place was called pl8 and it was a delicious tapas American style restaurant. IF you are ever in Fort Lautty...check dis place out!

GAME DAY SATURDAY! GAME DAY SATURDAY! GAME DAY SATURDAY!

Pool play started at 9am so it was up and at em at 6am. Yeah, it's that serious kids. We killed it during pool play and I was very very happy with my offensive (kicking) performance. I didn't touch the ball defensively but was always where I needed to be. We allowed 4 runs in 4 games and that unfortunately put us on the same side of the bracket as the team that eventually won the tourney.

If we had been tighter on defense we would have met them in the Finals and maybe pulled a win there. This team is REALLY REALLY good, this was the three-peat win for them, but I wish we had made the finals. I am pretty sure this sentiment was echoed throughout the team.

Team picture

Other Shot Callers!

Sweet photog skills honey

New profile pic, what what!

That's me...2nd base holla

Teammates to lovahssssss

A little field action

My cave man....seriously on the Paleo diet....crazy kid!

What's up superstar?!?!

The best part of this trip for me though, was actually being recognized from the podcast by other kickerball people. I'm still pretty new to the podcast, but having people yell "HEY PINKY!" at the bar or chatting me up on game day was pretty awesome. C and I were so tired that we skipped the after party Saturday night (lame sauce I know) and then it was time to fly home Sunday. I still can't believe the trip and tournament are over, way way way sad bunny over here.

Till the next tournament......

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Wanna learn more about my KICKERBALL career/playtime?!?! Check out the weekly podcast I'm on:

First2Third

Remember that you are DUST.....



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CA-WICK CATCHUP!

Hello hotties, how are ya?!?! It's MONDAY!!!! YAY!!!

PSHAW, who am I kidding...I am WAY bummed it's Monday because that means I'm back in the DMV area and NO LONGER in WAAAAARM SUNNNNNYYY FLORIDA!!!!! LE SIGH!

Leaving SUNNY and 80s for cloudy/rainy/sleety 30s is {NO BUENO} no matter who you are (well unless you are a polar bear or a penguin I guess...but moving on). Even more killer...most of our friends stayed in Florida Sunday to party again because they all have TODAY off....traveling while receiving picture text of MIMOSA brunch....SLAY.ME!!!!

I don't have time for a complete recap today and with Lent starting this week I won't be recapping until probably Thursday. So, if you want an informative post today, sadly you must look elsewhere. But, if you are looking for a distraction, pull up a chair, grab a latte (or mocha, I don't judge) and proceed!

{1} HOW ADORABLE is my girl Jess?!?! I cannot tell you how much I ADORE that Kentucky Priss. She is 12 kinds of sweet and truly an amazing friend to have. Just one of the many reasons I LOVE this blog world. And her post, giiiiiiiiiiiirl you got me all teary eyed! YAY KEENELAND!!!!

{2} Thank you for all of the good luck wishes, I truly appreciated them ALL! Sadly, we lost in the Semi-Finals.....to the team that ended up winning the tournament. Just call me bitter betsy or tickedoff tami. I hate losing and take it to heart 100%. I do know that this is not the end of the world or really THAT big of a deal so don't waste anytime feeling sorry for me, I'll be okay chick-a-dees!

{3} I want to move to Florida. I hate the cold and want to be back in tank tops and a bathing suit.

{4} Since Sportyspice is a teacher she came to my work today to say hi. I think I lost credibility points with my coworkers because we immediately slipped into sister slang. I think I'm okay with it because my family ROCKS! To quote le Washington Post "If you don't get it...YOU DON'T GET IT!"

{5} I am waaaaaaaaaaay behind on my resolutions and am not seeing much improvement in my fitness/weight/clothes fitting better/shins feeling better. Not sure what I am going to do about the problems, but back to the workout grind today.

{6} I bought the book "home front" by Kristen Hannah at the airport yesterday in Miami and I finished it LAST NIGHT instead of unpacking. ! Ladies, this book is inspiring, HEARTBREAKING and truly thought provoking. Check out here for the synopsis, but basically it is about a family dealing with the MOTHER/WIFE being deployed instead of the father/husband. And how a happy marriage slowly becomes a marriage on the rocks and the struggles the family faces. Again, incredibly powerful and poignant, I highly highly recommend.

{7} Many of you don't know that I am on a 'weekly' podcast for kickball, and wouldn't you know I go use the name "Pinky" there as well. Anyway, this was the first tournament since I 'joined' the podcast and PEOPLE actually KNEW WHO I WAS! I'm no celebrity, and won't let this go to my head, but it was super flattering and fun to have people come up to me and say "Hey Pinky, I love you on the podcast"!

{8} I still wish I was in Florida with my honey and my awesome teammates. Super Sad Face!

I'll be doing a quick drive by stalking of the blogs today, but PROMISE to get all caught up tomorrow. I'm reading ladies, don't you worry! LOVE Y'ALL!!!!

The Kentucky Takeover Y'all!

Hi y'all!!
For those of you who don't know me, the name's, Jess!!
AKA: The Kentucky Priss

 While our girl, Mik is off basking in the hot Florida sun, I am here to take over her blog!

Now, I know what you're probably thinking...WHO is this little blonde "honkey"
Wellllllllll...
I'm a twenty somethin' SEC belle living in the heart of  the Bluegrass {Kentucky}who can usually be found wearing Kentucky blue and cheering on the CATS come every Tuesday/Saturday night, with a glass of white wine in hand, spending QT with my best friends {AKA: Sisssybelles}, I am a fur-momma to the CUTEST Yorkie, Daisy May and SINGLE as they come! So if anyone has a brother, cousin, wealthy uncle  that you think I should meet, INBOX me!
I'm in LOVE with all things KENTUCKY {Ask Mik, she will tell you how UH-MAZING the K-Y is}, southern, MONOGRAM, and traveling!
 Most days you will find me HERE spilling my guts about all my favorite new things, countless dates gone bad, and the pretty state I'm proud to call home!

In case you were wondering, I AM the epitome of the definition of a true "southern belle"
I like my sweet tea sweeter than sweet, I talk with a twang {think every vowel being drawn out}, I love 
to wear a cute summer dresses with my cowboy boots and pearls, and I even named my little yorkie, Daisy May!
Check girlfriend out!

Mommy's girrrrr!

So, you're probably thinking, "what in the world would Mik and Jess have in common?"
I HONESTLY think that Mik and I were best friends in another life!!
We both love the Cowboys!

We both love the Kentucky Wildcats!! Look at my gorgeous little Mik at Rupp Arena, I LOVE IT!!



Me at the Commonwealth Stadium {Kentucky football}



annnd we're both prettttttty hysterical, or at least we like to think so...

   

This picture cracks me UP of Mik, everybody remember, Makenzie from Toddlers & Tiara's!??!

"You are duhrivin me NUH-UTS"

hahaha DEAD. RINGER!!!

But honestly....

and here is where I am about to get all EMOTIONAL up in this place...bare with girlfriends...

THIS is when I LOVE what Blogger is all about...

For sometimes, after hitting "Publish"  and sending our most intimate/or hilarious thoughts and feelings

out there for ALL the world to read...you never know who is going to stumble upon your little blog.

I think Mik left me a comment on my blog one day and I just knew IMMEDIATELY that I LOVED this gorgeous, hilarious girl that I like to call my little northern, SISSSYBELLE :)  

Mik, is JUST as gorgeous on the INside and she is on the OUT and she constantly likes to remind me that she is never far away if I should ever need her {for I have been going through some trying times as of lately} 

And yes, Mik, you can come stay with me when you come visit Keeneland this year!!!!

COME ON DOWN, SISSYBELLE!!!

Mik, I hope that you are having a fabulous time in Florida {sans food poisoning this little vacay} and enjoying some R&R time with C :) {who is btw ladies, a SEXY re-make of BECKHAM- I'm. JUST. Sayin} AND wearing that SPF bebe!!

Let's make our plans for KEENELAND when you get home, yes!!??

A little bit of this???

Yes??

and this??

mixed with DEEES,,,,

Kentucky bourbon, duh!

Cannot wait to hear all about your trip, sisssybelle!!