February 25, 2014

A Look Inside My Brain...

{During a Flight}
I've written here before how I'm not the most confident flyer.

I think I know where it stems from, but I haven't been able to shake it.

While waiting to get on the plane this Thursday,
I caught myself thinking about my unnecessary fear of flying
and how everything flows when I fly.

I thought it might be a fun/funny post too.

So, here is a look inside my brain, while flying.


At the airport.

Okay, I have everything right? Hopefully security isn't filled with knuckleheads that don't know the rules. Crap, are my toiletries in the right bag? Check. Yes, they are we are golden, let's get this party started.

We breeze through the security checkpoint, as usual. Now it's time to find our gate and relax until boarding begins. This is where the apprehension starts.

Do I have everything?! I hope so. Oh snap, I need to buy a water. Oooh, did I pack a snack in case I get hungry, yes, okay we're good. Well maybe I'll grab something else just in case.

Once all snacks and drinks are purchased, it's time to stretch and wait. And think about the flight ahead.

Oh man I hope our flight is easy and smooth.

No turbulence please.

Ugh lets get on the plane I just want get there.

Why are all these people staring at me while I stretch? Whatever.

Time to begin boarding. 

Why oh why do people rush to get on the plane to just sit? The less time I'm on the plane the better. 

Oh look, it's down to the last three people at the gate, guess we should start making our way too.

Hi, thanks for scanning my ticket.

Smile, so they don't know you're nervous.

Okay, where are our seats?

Boom, found em. Now let's get settled.
Water. CHECK! Chapstick. CHECK! Lotion CHECK!
Book to read. CHECK.

Gimme that safety manual. 

Exit is behind us, yup, feel the the preserver below my seat
and I think I'll use THIS bracing position.

Le Husband, it's safety time. 

Gosh, I'm so lucky he plays along with my nervousness.

Alright, now it's time to chill until the door shuts.

Oh, there it is. Time to watch the flight attendant for the safety video.

Poke C. Are you paying attention honey?

Saftey presentation is over, and now we are taxing. 

Okay, this time I won't get nervous. It's okay. This is an industry that is incredibly safe, that has a bazillion flights every year without any issues. People do their jobs well, because they know what's on the line, trust them. Yeah, I can trust them.

Thrusters on, engines rev and we are cleared for take off.

Eeeeeeeiii....oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, here we go. Dear Lord, PLEASE keep us safe. Please keep us safe, please let this takeoff be safe. Please, please, please, please, pleaaaaaase!

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

Thank goodness my husband let's me hold his hand.


No more bumps, please no more bumps.

Okay, just keep your eyes closed until the dingding for the flight attendants.

Ding ding.

Phew, we're past the scariest part. Now it's time to try to relax.

Where's my book?

Man I hope the rest of the flight is easy.

Eek, what was that?

Normal turbulence.

Man, why didn't I pop a pill? Or ask for a pill? UGH!

Chill OUT! The flight attendants are in the cabin preparing drinks, obviously nothing can be wrong. Turbulence is natural. Turbulence is natural. CHILLAX!

[This trying to relax and getting freaked out by turbulence continues for the rest of the flight. If it's mega turbulence you might find me resqueezing C's hand really hard.]

Then comes the best part of the flight...the initial descent!

YES! YAY! WOOP! We're almost on the ground.

Let's all keep it together now. 

Oh look, there's the ground, wee!

And here we go....down....down...BOOM LAND YES!

Thank you Lord, for a safe flight. Phew!

Yes, friends, that is just a teeny peek into my brain
in the wild blue yonder. 

Please feel free to call me crazy, I know I am :)!


Jenn said...

hahaha, funny post! Glad your flight was a-okay!

Jamie said...

Turbulence is the worst. I don't think you can ever actually get comfortable with it.

Illegally Blonde said...

Oh lord...you are safer in that plane than on the ground ma'am! but I love your little brain and that C is so good to you.

Monica L said...

Haha this is great! My sister is a nervous flyer too and it cracks me up the things that she says while we wait at the airport!

Brittany said...

haha turbulence freaks me out so bad! All I can think about when flying is how on earth is this plane staying in the air and what if we start falling to our deaths?!

{Jessica} said...

I am SO with you on this. I HATE flying and am the most nervous flyer. The scene from Bridesmaids where Kristin Wiig and the girl on her aisle start freaking out, and telling everyone there's something wrong with the plane, and saying "Let's just open the door and get off" always makes me crack up because I'm not too far from being that crazy plane lady, lol!

Ashley said...

you are the absolute cutest!! i loved a walk through your brain!