June 25, 2013

Don't Even Know My Last Name...

Okay ladies I need your help.

When I become a MRS I gain a husband
and also a last name. 

That's just crazy right?!?!

Now, I know many, many women LIVE for the name change.

But, honestly, I'm not 100% sure I'm really excited about changing my name.
Thank you LC
Not quite what you expected huh?!?!

Coming from a family of three girls, I knew that when everyone got married,
our immediate family line of the Bradys would end.

And back then that made me sad.

It still does.

While I don't think for two seconds about other people changing their name,
[different strokes for different folks]
I've continued to silently wrestle with the idea of 'giving up' my name.

A sweet friend of mine put it perfectly last year,

"Your name is the FIRST gift you are given. 
It's okay to feel sad about 'losing it' in life".

How eloquent right?!?!

I'm probably in the minority here, 
with most women going "woohoo, finally married, new identity"
and I'm happy for y'all.

I really, truly am.

But, right now I'm not sure what 
I WANT to do
and that's frustrating.

I thought I would look to YOU ladies
and see what you think.

My full name is:

Pinky Tinkerbell Brady
[obviously ALL fake names, but since I blog under a pseudonym I had
to use some form of a naming convention to make sense] 

Do I want to become

Pinky Brady Baseball


Pinky Tinkerbell Baseball?


Pinky Tinkerbell Brady-Baseball

I had thought about just having FOUR names,
but was informed I'd legally have to apply to CHANGE
my name and that's NOT what I want to do with my time.

How did/will you change your name?

Does anyone else feel the same way I do?

Any other name suggestions?!!


Monica said...

I totally know what you mean. Not that I am getting married any time soon but I struggle with the idea of changing my last name. Its hard to pronounce and people always get it wrong but its mine dammit! Haha no really I would say go with the 4 that way everyone wins. I know a few girls who have gone that way even if it was a hassle to do it.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean!! I thought the same way but I do have a brother to carry on the family name so it wasn't as hard. I did go from having 6 letters in my last name to having 12 which is crazy and everyone totally butchers my new last name! Lol

Bitzy said...

This came up at work and I think an interesting point is that you don't get any choice in your last name at birth, but upon marriage you do get a choice whether to change your last name or not. So yes, your current last name is a gift but you had no say in the matter and now you do.
Another point was that it does make it easier to have the same last name as your hypothetical kids, although I'm sure teacher friends can tell you it's now pretty common for a mom & her kids to have different last names.

Cece said...

If you are feeling sad about losing your last name just go ahead and hyphenate. I wish I had! Especially since we aren't likely having kids. I don't like the idea of dropping my middle name. I think that's kind of sad too. If your names sound good enough together and are short enough hyphenate and then give your kids his last name; which you share a part of.

RIC said...

I was just married at the beginning of June and am in the process of changing my name. I always assumed I would change it but now that I am in the process it is a little sad for me. But at the same time it means a lot to my husband that we share a last name and that is what makes me more excited to do it.(his mom hyphenated her name) Maybe you should talk to your fiance about his thoughts on the matter. I do understand your feelings though.

Erin LFF said...

I was totally happy to change my name- but a few times I did have that weird feeling of 'losing' who I'd been for 24 years! Plus it's just my sister and I too, so there will be no more of "us" ya know?! It's totally normal to feel that way! Just do what seems best to you- I think about future kids too and what their names would end up being!

Carolyn said...

Ugh. I had the same issue. I'm super traditional, and always knew that I wanted to take my husband's name, but I was really sad to think that my maiden name was ending with my sister and I! :( I totally get it friend! I say do whatever will make you feel best!

SHAYNA said...

Girl friend, I feel you on the name change. I, obviously went the traditional route of keeping my given first & middle name & changing my last name. I have a younger brother so, my family name will live on but, it doesn't make giving it up any easier! Yes, I LOVE my new last name & am very proud to be "Mrs. Yancey". In that same breath though it made me feel like I was leaving something behind or better yet just tossing it to the curb like an old worn out sweater or something. I come from a small town where everyone (it pretty much seems like it) knows my family - has done business with my Dad, knows my Mom's health story & her testimony, & knows my brother & I from just being active members in the community. THAT is what I was/am worried about leaving behind. I'm proud of my family name & proud of what people think when they say "Oh yes, your Jimmy & Kathi's daughter". Yes, YES I am!

I know this novel I just wrote probably doesn't help much but, know that you are not the only one that feels a little less than thrilled to be changing your name. I say pray about it, talk to C about it & get his feeling on it & make what decision feels most right in your heart.

M. at Making Sense of Cents said...

I'm still not sure if I want to change mine. I like mine!

Katie said...

I had the same upsetting feeling about losing my last name. That is who you have always been. For X amount of years you have had that name and in one day's time it's changed.
It made me sad quite often through our engagement. Honestly I even thought about it walking down the isle which those tears I cried were partially still from the thought of this is really it I'm losing my last name TODAY.

I dropped my last name all together. I'm no longer sad about it bc I will always be a Schario at heart!! :)

Tess said...

The way I worked it our for me... and it may take you a few years... But I used my old last name (meyer) as one of my son's middle name. I don't know... its kind of a way to keep it going. You could even use it with a girls name.

Jenn said...

I think this is something everyone can weigh in on, but that's because everyone has their own opinions. What it REALLY comes down to, is what is going to make you feel happy in the end. So, play it out for a little bit. Think of yourself with different versions of the name for a day or so, and see what feels "right"