October 2, 2013

My Wednesday Wake-up for Women

That's right ladies, I'm talking to YOU! This is your wake up call!
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I recently came across an article on a friend's Facebook page and felt compelled to share it here in blog land. Do yourselves a favor and take two minutes to read the following article.

23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing Now

Did you read it? How ridiculously simple are these changes? And how many of them did you find yourself shaking your head to in agreement? Or thinking 'oh snap, I do that'?

I think all of the 'things' mentioned in the article are important and good ones to change but there were a few that really stuck out to me. I see myself and my friends that are guilty of a few of these and it's time for things to change. It's time to realize what is holding us back as women and what we can do about it. Below are my thoughts on the points I found most poignant.

4. Viewing food as the enemy. What, food isn't the enemy?!?! It isn't about surviving on a 1,500 calorie diet and creating fake desserts to take place of real ones?! No, it's not. Food is not the enemy, over indulgence and a sedentary life is the enemy. I've bounced back and forth on my relationship with food and for awhile it was just FUEL for my body and constantly monitored. I ended up losing a decent amount of weight right before the wedding and have managed to keep it off without restricting myself to the minimum amount of food needed. Moderation is the key for me right now as it's not bathing suit season and I'm not trying to be in a fitness show. Women need to view food as a fun thing and if there is indulgence then there needs to be an extra work out or less indulgence the next day. We're only on this Earth for a short amount of time, we should enjoy all we can out of our life, including our food.

8. Comparing your real life to someone else’s virtual one. We bloggers deal with this on a daily basis and it's a tough pill to swallow. Everyone's life looks better online [just ask Brad Paisley] and that's because we can choose to show what we want people to see. Photoshop can make pictures more flattering and you never know how many pictures it took to get the perfect one. I enjoy reading blogs learning about others and seeing how other people live, but I've had to consciously tell myself NOT to compare what I have to what I see online. My life is great and just because someone shows a 'better' life online that doesn't mean my life is ANY less great.

17. Fearing being alone. The quote by Shirley McLaine says it best "The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves". We can't love others if we don't love ourselves. Being alone is okay. Obviously very few people want to be alone forever, but being alone for a time is not a bad thing. While I'm a happy newlywed, I look back fondly on my single girl days because those were the days I learned WHO I truly am and what I truly wanted out of life. There is no need to relationship hop, it's okay to be alone. It's also okay to not be surrounded by people constantly. Quiet brings reflection and often reflection brings peace. Wherever you are in life, enjoy the solitude when you can.

20. Holding on to toxic friendships. I know many women struggle with ending friendships, because for some reason we feel ending a friendship is a sense of failure. What we fail to realize is the TOXIC friend is the one who failed, not us. Having a constant negative nancy, snotty sally, or worrying wendy around is not good for self-esteem and can be hard to deal with, and sometimes you have to look out for number one. We women are taught to put others first, but there are times where looking out for our own well being is more important than someone else's feelings. That person may have been wonderful in the past and sure dropping a 10+ friendship might hurt a bit, but in the long run you'll be thankful you don't have the toxicity in your life. Let go and move on stat. "Life is too short to waste time with people who make you feel like crap."

21. Spending time with people out of obligation. This goes hand in hand with #20 of course, but it is also it's own beast. Just because you were friends with so and so back in the day, doesn't mean you need to be friends now. Sure, in the past things were great and wonderful and there are probably a lot of fun memories, but that DOESN'T mean people are the same now. College friends shouldn't always be friends out of college. I see way too many people stay friends and do things because they feel 'obligated' to instead of doing what they want to with people they enjoy. Life is about being happy and growing, and sometimes that means growing out of relationships. Own it, understand it, deal with it and move on to better people, because trust me, there are better people out there.

23. Setting deadlines for major life events. Time lines/Deadlines are self-imposed thieves of joy. It's great to have a plan, but ladies we aren't in control of everything so things don't often work out the way we wish. We have no control over the clock, so there is no sense in creating a deadline for things to happen. Maybe you'll reach the 'goal' but often setting a deadline just sets us up for disappointment and a sense of failure. I wanted to be married right out of college...look how well that worked for me. I'm married at 30 and the happiest I've ever ever been. Who cares that I'm not 23, I don't. If I let my deadline rule my life, I'd be 'sad' it took so long to get married, but I choose to understand I'm where I need to be at 30. Maybe I'll have a kid at 31 or maybe I won't have a kid until 36, whatever the year, I'll know it was meant to happen that way and if it takes a little extra time so what. I'll still be a mom, that's all that matters. Ladies, please join me in just saying no to timelines and deadlines....JUST SAY NO!

Being a woman is empowering and awesome and we need to make sure we remind ourselves of that daily. We are amazing human beings, we just need to embrace the joy, drop the bad and LOVE LIFE! If you get nothing else out of this post, know that I think YOU ARE FABULOUS! :)

Which points in the article really struck a cord with you?!?!

6 comments:

Jenn said...

Great post! You lecture me about a lot of these, and they are very true. We all definitely need to start living more for ourselves, and stop worrying about others so much (those are obviously the ones that resonated the most with me! haha). Thanks for sharing!

Illegally Blonde said...

I read this and totally agree especially internal deadlines, even though I am awful at doing this. Its a good reminder that God has a plan and we just have to keep believing.

Tori G said...

Great post, totally agree!

Nicole Shea said...

The toughest one for me is spending time with people out of obligation--even when I know they are toxic to be around!

Cece said...

#4 and #8 are huge ones for me. I have a love hate relationship with food that I am constantly working on. Nobody wins in the game of comparison. It's something that I'm finally realizing. One, their life is probably not as perfect as it seems and two, so what. Everyone is on their own path and you will always lose when you seek to compare yourself to everyone around you.

Miss Angie said...

Totally totally agree! Thanks for sharing this!

Found this post through The Weekly Round-up over at Aubrey's blog!