SIX MONTHS

Yes, I'm back & she is SIX MONTHS OLD. My peanut, SIX MONTHS!

Good golly, miss Molly, I can't believe it. 

Every parent says it and now I truly believe it, time does fly. Can it really be six months since I updated here? Since I even came to my blog. Not that y'all were holding your breath or anything (I do post a decent amount on instagram). However, I NEVER expected to neglect this space, and community, as much as I did.

I have a post saved in drafts to share one day, and basically it says BIRTH IS HARD. Being a new mom is HARD. Baby is not all rainbows and butterflies. And IT IS OKAY!!!! Gosh, it is so okay.

But, that is for a later date.

Today I just am posting to say hi! To say babygirl is 6 months (as of the 18th). And to say I am trying to be back here. Legit, trying. Thank you if you are reading. < 3

She's Here! She's Here!

Yes, y'all, we have a baby. A GIRL as a matter of fact. YES, GIRL can you believe it?

Sweet babygirl was born on 4/18/19 and is just over three weeks old today. Crazy! If you had told me I wouldn't have blogged about her birth until now I would have laughed. I fully expected to have an announcemnt up the week she was born. 

But...

- then the unexpected c-section happened.

- the brutal week one of recovery happened. 

- the hazing of newborn sleeping/eating happened.

- the very little milk happened. 

- the supplemental tube happened. 

- the tears over formula happened.

- the extra hands of family and friends that let me take naps happened. 

- the unsure of every new thing happened.

- the helping hands left happeneed. 

- the living every day by 2-3 hours at a time happened. 

- the sleeping while the baby sleeps happened. 

- the unexpected four hour car ride to Ohio with a 18 day old happened. 

- the multiple days in hospice and at Le Husband's grandmother's house happened. 

- the staying with family happened. 

- the drive home happened. 

And finally, the first weekend alone with baby happened. We celebrated Mother's Day very low key, beucase this mama couldn't really be far from baby right now. I am still able to breast feed with a supplemental tube and can pump, too. I don't have a lot of milk, which hurts my heart but that's where we are right now. Lil girl is growing and has started to look like a baby, not a newborn. 

If you follow me on Instagram you'll have read my birth story and gotten more of an idea regarding how life with baby started. It was 100% opposite of what I expected and has been tough to mentally deal with, but I'm slowly getting through. I hope to find a rhythm soon and thank you all for your well wishes, prayers and love. 

Dear BOB

Oh, baby. How do I even start this? I honestly can't believe your due date is so close. Next week. Four days away. Here we are. And man, I'm so all over the place, sweetie.

I am so ready to meet you. To know who you will look like. What your name will be. I can't wait to learn if we will be putting you in pinks or blues [and other colors too]. What color will your hair be? And your eyes? Meeting you also means you'll be HERE, in the world. Outside of my body. Which has me excited and nervous.

Excited because nine months is a long time. A long process. A lot of work on my body. So many changes. So many miraculous changes. Nine months my body has been your home and I'm BEYOND grateful to have housed you safely for so long. I know many mommies would have loved to have their babies in their bodies for 39 weeks and I don't take it for granted my body continues to keep you safe. You are quiet and safe from the world right now and I love that. I love that I can protect you. That I can control what is around you and what you get to be near.

Because soon, that changes. Soon you will be here, in the world. And try as I might to protect you I can't keep you in another bubble. You will grow and be around others and I can't be everywhere. If I'm honest, I'm already nervous about keeping you safe from harm and have already thought about when you get your license. #crazyiknow I'm sure every parent freaks out, right?

And then I think about how I'm still in charge with you in my belly. When I need a nap, I take one. When I want to read a book, I do. I can sit still. I can do a lot. I can do nothing. You come with me and it's easy. Once you're here, though, that's out the window. And I keep trying to tell myself to soak up these moments. TO EMBRACE these little bits of just YOU AND ME time. Because right now, you are my lil secret. No one really can tell when you move. When you're quiet. What you're doing. It's just you and me kid and that's so special. And, I like being able to sleep when I want ;)!

Sweet BOB, I am so ready to meet you. And to see your daddy with you. And to have you here with family. You are so, so, so, loved already. Mommy is more than happy to share her birthday with you. Or have you as an early bday present [hint hint]. Stay safe and know we are beyond thankful for you!

O'Baby: Maternity Pictures

Hello! Still here and still pregnant. Currently 39 weeks 1 day and feeling every extra ounce and every possible emotion. Excitement. Apprehension. Fear. Impatience. Concern. Loss of control. Thankful. Joyful. Ready to meet our kid. Not ready for life to change. And everything in between. 

Mama B is coming down tomorrow and Sportyspice is heading this way Friday with my niece. Baby is due the day after my birthday [WHICH IS MONDAY, what?!] and I've always thought it would be wonderful to have a baby for my birthday. But, we all know baby knows best so I'm trying to hope and pack my patience at the same time. 

One way I've distracted myself is pouring over our maternity pictures I took when I was 36 weeks. I hadn't planned to take pictures [justifying the money was tough] but the photographer, who is a friend, had an incredible first year package so I said "what the heck?" and just went with it. She was increidble efficient and had a great eye for pictures and allowed Le Husband and I to be ourselves [he hates photos] which was helpful. I knew we didn't need a full hour for our pictures and when she suggested a split session with me doing fitness pictures I was thrilled. Never thought of that [which is so weird] and I'm grateful for her awesome idea. I love the pictures from both sessions and am having a hard time picking WHICH ones to buy. Let me know your favorites!

ALL PHOTOS PROPERTY OF PINKPERSISTENCE AND ADARA EVENTS & PHOTOGRAPHY

Show Us Your Books {April}

Another month, another book recap. I've kept things relatively light/easy reading the past two months. There have been a lot of mommy books also being read and I've really just wanted to enjoy reading before bed. Also, it's been nice to enjoy my down time right now, because I know I will have very little of it in the coming weeks. Danielle Steel was the author of choice right now, which is weird. I just recently discovered how much I enjoy her stories and in my opinion, easy reading.

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* * * * *

This book was incredible. It was just what I needed during the dark moments this year. As many of you know, 2018 was filled with a lot of down {before baby} and I was mentally struggling everyday. I stumbled upon this book when I was desperately searching for a mind shift and I'm beyond grateful I chose to intentionally read every chapter. I did not know when I picked it up it was written by the woman who wrote "Lean In" (which I never read, btw), but I can see why the other book was so successful. Sandberg's writing is raw and powerful as she speaks about the unexpected death of her husband and doesn't sugar coat anything. I really connected to her philosophy of avoiding the three Ps (Personalization, Pervasiveness, Permanence) when bad things happen and have actually suggested this book to a few friends. If you're dealing with some tough stuff I highly suggest this read.

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* * * * 1/2

Very intriguing summary and something so FAR from my life I just had to read it. Super quick read, even though it isn't a short book. I found the story super engrossing and just kept turning the pages. I found all the characters very interesting and even though the storyline is quite farfetched it wasn't something SO OUT there it was dumb. I mean, don't get me wrong, I could not have lived the main character's life, nor could I imagine being a true artist. I enjoyed the storyline, however a few times it as quite predictable which is why I took away half a star. 

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* * * *  1/2

One of the more fluffier books I read, even though it was all about being against the odds. Kate is a great character to root for and her children are all interesting characters. I admit, some of their 'trials' seemed a bit eye roll inducing and many parts of the book you could see coming. However, I enjoyed the sagas and felt they were well written and brought the reader into some unique situations. Will keep your interest and good for a travel book. 

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Another more serious Steel book, also set in WW2. This one had quite a few different storylines and was not what I expected. There were quite a few moments where things just abruptly stopped and another plot started. I understand this is an accurate portrayal of the era, but it still felt off as a reader. Lots of sadness, lots of loss, lots of hope and intrigue. Put it on the summer list.

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* * * * 3/4

This book was so good. So heartbreaking. So riveting. So inspiring. Gaelle's journey navigating living in France during WW2 is beyond hard, but she is such an incredible character. The turn of events after WW2 is very interesting and fun to read. I would have given the book five stars, but it seems Steel wanted to make one aspect of Gaelle's life super tough and it just felt forced all the way. Otherwise, fantastic read, great for spring break of summer.

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* * * * 1/2

Random library grab and I'm quite happy I decided to give it a go. Interesting storyline, fun characters, intriguing plot and a few random twists you don't see coming. I was particularly fascinated with the old Hollywood vibe and how tough it was even back then for women to make it in Tinsel Town. There are time hops throughout the book, but they are well done and not confusing at all. I think anyone would enjoy this read.

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Where it all began for Hannah, finally. I had always wondered how her story started and this book explained everything. It was nice to have a look into the beginning of the series and 'meet' all the characters for the first time. The book was shorter than other books and it played out how I expected, but that's part I like best with Fluke's stories. She keeps me guessing but nothing too crazy that has me frustrated. Easy breezy and super light.

What's Up Wednesday

What We're Eating This Week: Ummmm, a bunch of random. Because, pregnancy!!!

What I'm Reminiscing About: Life this time last year. I was heading out to visit Sportyspice after my lil niece was born and getting ready to celebrate my 35th birthday. Life when we found out we were pregnant back in August. Also just reminiscing about all the fun Le Husband and I have had togehter, just the two of us. We will be THREE in just a few short weeks.

What I'm Loving: All the baby movement. Working with Le Husband to get the house ready. Knowing this is my LAST WEEK AT WORK!!!

What We've Been Up To: Trying to get the house ready for baby. The guest room is almost completely cleaned out and we are slowly adding baby stuff daily. Le Husband has been working hard to build the clothes dresser & crib and I'm helping with the painting outside.

What I'm Dreading: Birth happening while Le Husband is away this weekend. Baby isn't due until the middle of April, but you never know right? Le Husband has a big conference and is leaving later this week to be there. My mom is coming into town the same night he leaves so I won't be alone, but the possible logistics make me nervous.

What I'm Working On: My birth playlist, breathing exercises and visualization. I know labor isn't a party so I'm trying to be as prepared as I can. I'm also trying to get small organizational things done around the house.

What I'm Excited About: BOB making his/her appearance and all the family coming into town for the birth.

What I'm Watching/Reading: Catching up our favorite shows right now during dinners and I'm reading birth books during the day and then easy reads at night before I go to bed.

What I'm Listening To: Calming music, pregnancy podcasts, Les Mills music.

What I'm Wearing: Maternity and my husband's clothing.

What I'm Doing This Weekend: Attending my Tennessee baby shower & I'm so excited :)! My friends are so sweet and I'm super happy my mom will be here to meet some of my closest people.

What I Want To Remember {March}

We MADE IT! 36 weeks, aka technically term. Obviously a safe birth can never be promised, but all of my doctors have told me 36 weeks is the GO time where they would feel comfortable with baby making an appearance. So YAY! Hello, 36 weeks :)! 

Things I want to remember:

+ Making it to 36 weeks. Seems silly, but there is still so much unknown about birth and why women deliver early and why there could be complications so I'm thankful to get to the 'safety zone' persay. Baby could come at any time now and it wouldn't be a bad thing. HOLY MOLY!

+ My surprise baby shower with Le Husband's family. He and the rest of his family had me convinced I was helping them pull off a surprise party for his mother, but ha, joke was on me. It was such a sweet lil shower and I felt so loved. We also got our carseat and stroller which had me thrilled!

+ Getting my Mommy Mobile. We did this quite a bit later than expected, but sales people were stupid so whatever. Le Husband found a great deal and drove the car from Ohio last week. Not going to lie, I'll miss the zip of my lil sports car, but this is quite possibly the best reason to get a new car, right?

+ Our mini BABYMOON in Chattanooga last weekend. Since Le Husband drove the car down from Ohio after a work trip, his car was at the Chattanooga airport and obviously we couldn't just leave it there. So, we packed up Friday afternoon, drove my sports car for 15 hours south [YAY SPEEEEED], had a delicious dinner, walked around town and stayed the night in a hotel as our last lil get away. The next morning it was breakfast, easy chill time then drove home to get other things taken care of on Saturday. It wasn't much, definitely nothing compared to what most people do for a BABYMOON, but it was still a sweet perfect trip. Our LAST lil trip just the two of us. 

+ My last full weeks of work. Next week is it, y'all. I'll be working days here and there in April, but nothing I HAVE to do and I honestly can't wait. The past two months have been a lot harder on my body than expected and I'll be so glad to not HAVE to be on my feet for seven to eight hours a day. Maternity leave is ALMOST HERE!

+ All the changes with my body. They aren't fun, but they are necessary. Belly is SOOOOO big. Thighs have gotten bigger. Feet are now really tired and hurt. Not a lot of swelling, but a bit. I've gained 29 pounds and I can feeeeeel it all now, especially in my back. Sitting, standing, laying down, I feel my low back. Scheduling another prenatal massage for April to get some help. I can also see the plumpness in my face, too. All good things for baby, so I'm not complaining, just noticing, ha. 

+ People in my fitness classes cheering me on at every class. Their support is so lovely and I've even heard from a few me still teaching inspires them with their fitness, which is the biggest compliment. I still am so tired it's hard to get to the gym, but when I teach I feel so much better. 

+ How supportive people have been. Family, friends, members, coworkers and complete strangers are all so kind to me. It's like this lil tribe with women and the men who are kind just say the nicest things about how fun it will be once baby is here. I've dealt with a few "wow you're big" comments, but water of the back for me. Knowing I'm a month out has people excited and I'm so lucky. 

We are just a week away from BIRTH MONTH and my BIRTHDAY MONTH, I am so excited :)!