November 19, 2010

My Fresh Prince needs Prayers!

Happy Friday all, I'm in need of some prayers please.
My best friend's son, "Fresh Prince" as I call him was heloed to the hospital this morning. His baby little finger was caught in a paper shredder and he was in surgery as of 1pm this afternoon. He just turned 1 year old last month and is the boy light of my life.

His parents are strong faithful people, but I know they could definitely use your prayers. Please pray for healing, for smart doctors, for peace and rest and for God's loving hands to be on all of the people involved today.

Thank you and again, happy Friday to all!

November 10, 2010


Hello Friends! It's that WIWW time of week again, yay so exciting. I love seeing what I've worn throughout the week and then browsing all the lovely ladies that link up. Seriously, I am SOOO unproductive at work on Weds now....shhhhhh! I've linked up to "The Pleated Poppy" this week and you should too! :)

Thurs[my favorite sweater]day
Sweater: Victoria's Secret (on sale, can you believe it?)
White Tee: Q&A
Jeans: Gap outlet (I have 3 of the same pair...don't judge please)
Shoes: PumaFri[I went to bed wAAAAAAy too late so didn't care about my outfit]day
Gray Tee: Target?
Zip-up Fleece: Heavenly Ski Resort (3 years ago on vacay at Lake Tahoe)
Jeans: Gap
Shoes: Nike (bought online at Zappos on sale)
 Fri[dinner with my team/wear my new sweater dress]day night
Sweater Dress: Gap Outlet (on sale I KNOW)
Leggings: Target on sale (I think?)Over the Knee Boots: Steve Madden for Victoria's Secret
(Probably my most favorite boots ever, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them)
Necklace: Wet Seal
 Mon[I wanna wear skinnies and boots]day
White Sweater: Gift from Macy's I think?
Grey Sweater: Mossimo from target
Belt: Borrowed from a dress
Skinny Jeans: Macy's
Boots: Victoria's Secret (where else right?!)

Tues[breakout the winter clothes]day
Turtleneck Sweater: Victoria's Secret
White Sweater: Old Navy
Cords: Old Navy?
Shoes: Franco Sarto on saleMY NEW NECKLACE!
Love this new necklace from FOXY

Weds[wanna wear my scarf]day
Sweater: Ann Taylor Loft
Jeans: Gap Outlet
Shoes: American Eagle
Scarf: CHILE from baby spice

Hmmm, after looking through my week, I might need to change up the layer and wear some of my button downs and skirts.

Can't wait to see what everyone else is wearing!
Have a great week ladies!

November 5, 2010

*FaithFULL Fridays*

Happy Friday Friends! And a good, but tired Friday it is. C, got in late last night from a week long business trip so YAY my boyfriend's back. But since his plane was delayed a few times he got in a lot later than expected, which means I was cat-napping until he got to my place. YAWWWWWWWN, I'm tired. Usually Friday nights are my veg in sweats and relax nights, but unfortunately not tonight. I have a dinner with one of my teams and then a birthday celebration for a very good friend. I have no problem telling people 'Not going out' no matter how many times I am called 'lame' but since I am a BIRTHDAYAHOLIC I will always rally for bday celebrations. THANK GOODNESS we get that extra hour of sleep Saturday to Sunday.

Speaking of Sunday, this will be a special church service this week. It's All Saints Day and my family (minus babyspice) will be serving communion. We served communion together on Easter this year and it was a pretty special experience. Sportyspice (middle sis) served with me and although we were reverent, we had a fun time and were "GENEROUS with JESUS" ;)

I will also be singing in the choir this Sunday and our director has selected a truly moving piece titled "The Dwelling Place of God" (also known as The Tabernacle of God). I spent a good deal of time searching for the lyrics online, but alas could not find the actual words. However, I did find snippets of the verse used and will be using that for my FaithFULL Friday post. (If I indeed find the lyrics later I will update, because they are so beautiful)

"And I saw a new Heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there was no more sea.
And I, saw the holy city, Jerusalem, coming down from the God of heaven.
And I heard a great voice out of haven, saying:
Behold, the dwelling place of God is with all.
And He will dwell with them and they shall be his people.
And He himself shall be with them and be their God.
And he will wipe every tear from their eye and death shall be no more.
Niether crying, nor pain.
For these things have passed away.
The dwelling place of God is with all."

Happy All Saints Day. Blessings and love to you and your 'Saints'.

~We miss you everyday Mo~

Don't forget to turn back the clock!


November 3, 2010


Here we are at my 2nd WIWW, and I have missed a few, my bad. After looking at these photos I have decided I need to do something about the angle of my mirror. It makes me look alot hippy and squarer than I am. NO LIE!

Wed {First Outfit for WIWW} day
White T: Hannah Montana for Walmart (on sale)
Blue sweater: Target
Black jeans: Hechts
Shoes: Ann Taylor Loft (on sale)

Thurs{Changed my shoes but didn't take a picture}day
Top: Victoria's Secret (on sale last year)
Tank: Gap Outlet
Jeans: Macy's
Boots: Steve Madden for Victoria Secret
Necklace: Foxy

Fri{I was too lazy}day

Sat&Sun{No pictures w/out my face}days

Mon{Dressed like a ragamuffin}day
White Tee: Q&A
Brown sweater: Hand me down from forever ago
Jeans: Gap Outlet
Shoes: Puma

Tues{what I wore to PT}day
Top: Kope Bryant (from
Shorts: Circa college soccer 2004
Sweatpants: A la C
Bare feet: Cold on the floor

Tues{What I wore to work}day
White Long sleeve: Gap Outlet
Jacket: Ann Taylor Loft (2 years ago)
Pants: Ann Taylor Loft (on sale 2 years ago)
Socks: Target
Shoes: Somewhere online on sale for a costume last year

Weds{I made it almost a whole week}day
Top: Gap Outlet(Christmas present)
Sweater: Mossimo for Target
Cord Pants: Express (from college I think, GASP)
Shoes: Franco Sarto (3 years ago. Best buy EVER)
Necklace: Forever 21 (2 years ago)

I can't wait to see everyone else's looks, Happy WIWW :)! I love all of the borders everyone else has around their pictures. Can anyone help educate me on how I can get them on my blog? I'm pretty new at this and am trying to update my look so it's as pretty as yours (yes, I'm talking to you wink wink)!

November 1, 2010

Mighty Monday

This is my first ‘Might-y Monday’ post. I stoleSlashborrowed this idea from the adorable Abby at babblyingabby because I thought it was a great play on words. Do yourself a favor and check out her blog.

Might-y Monday
1} I might have woken up late today

2} This means I might be dressed like a ragamuffin at work. Possibly including jeans, pumas, a sweater, no make up and crazy curly hair (check out WIWW to find out)

3} I might have eaten Cocoa Puffs for breakfast this morning

4} I might have check out blogs before my work email was up

5} I might have participated in my first ‘couple’s costume’ this weekend for Halloween

6} It might have been a little on the inappropriate side

7} I might have gone to lunch to get a salad and come back to the office with an authentic meatball sub

8} I might have just noticed a hole in my sweater while sitting at my desk

9} My room might look like a tornado plowed through it

10} I might have entertained the thought of skipping the gym today

11} My subconscious might have called me all kinds of names so I don’t

12} I might launch myself over my cubicle because my cube mate can’t eat lunch quietly and it is really gross

13} I might have gotten into a shouting/yelling match at my soccer game yesterday afternoon

14} I might have lost my temper for the first time and surprised most of the people on my team

15} I might have sent a disgruntle email to the head of the league last night

16} I might be super excited that I received my first COMMENTS on my blog last week :)

17} Super excited might be an understatement

18} I might be looking forward to C being out of town so I can take care of things at my apartment

19} I might be missing him already

20} I might be excited the holiday season is sooooooooooo close!

Happy Monday to you!


October 29, 2010

*FaithFULL Fridays*

Happy FaithFULL Friday FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. "
Matthew 5:4

This may not be the verse expected on a Faithfull Friday, but I felt it was perfect this week. Sadly, one of my best friends lost her grandmother this week and so she and her family are in mourning. My heart just breaks for her, as I experienced my first 'losing of a grandmother' 2 years ago (I can't believe it's been that long).

So, it is with FAITH, hope and love that we BELIEVE God will take the hurt away day by day. Please pray for her and her family, I know they will appreciate it.

Have a blessed weekend, full of TREATS and no Tricks!



October 28, 2010

Thirteen Thursdays

Wow, time for another Thirteen on Thursday. This week's theme is:

Thirteen "Things I love about Fall"

1) The crisp smell in the air in the early mornings walking outside

2) BOOTS! BOOTS! BOOTS! Knee High, Booties, Over-the-Knee, I lovelovelovelove them all!

3) Hot Chocolate

4)FOOTBALL!!!!!!! (although my team has highly disappointed me this year. It has been rough and we are only six weeks in. It's hard living in this town where my team is the arch rival and we aren't winning. But I still LOVE football Saturdays and Sundays)
5)Bringing out the warm sweaters
6)The beautiful fall foliage. Even though I enjoy spring and summer more than fall, I can't help but LOVE LOVE LOVE the beautiful trees and changing leaves. There is something about the warm yellow, red, orange and brown tones that just make me smile.

7)Pumpkin patches, corn maizes and fall festivals

8)Changing summer bedsheets/quilts for warm flannel sheets and cuddly comforters

9)Dying my hair a darker color. I haven't decided whether I like being (fake) blondish or darkish but I LOVE the first hair appointment of a new season. I'm rockin' a warm dark chocolate color with blonde highlights currently

10)Hoodies and baggy sweatpants. I LIVE in these items in the fall. (Although participating in WIWW might change that going forward). And now that I am dating C, I have begun confiscating a nice collection of sweatshirts and sweatpants. I mean come on, boys sweatpants are SO MUCH more comfortable than girls (and more forgiving on the figure too)

11)Although I am not a fan of pumpkin or apple anything I find myself enjoying the smells during the fall. I actually have an apple pie sented candle in my apartment now and personally think it smells really delish.

12)Getting back into my gym routine. Summer always takes my gym focus away (despite the fact it's the time TO BE in shape) with constant vacations, bbqs, happy hours etc. But I've gotten back into my gym schedule of at least 3 times a week and I am feeling great

13) Okay, please Please PLEASEEEEEE don't kill me for this last one, but I love the prepping of Christmas music at church choir practice. We had our first Christmas music practice last week and I was soooooo excited. I know many of you mommies are shaking your head at me and trying to jump through the screen, but I am already excited for Christmas :)

What are your 13 Favorite things about fall?

October 27, 2010

What I Wore Wednesday

Many of the blogs I’ve been readingSLASHstalking participate in this awesome occurrence called “What I wore Wednesdays” (WIWW). Started by the talented author of the “Pleated Poppy” as a way to be ‘held accountable’ for her fashion choices, it has become a really interesting tool for finding new fashion statements for me.

One day soon, I will be brave enough to actually join. However I am still, for the sake of privacy, trying to keep this blog anonymous. BUT, I am tagging up and joining with a mini-post this week. This is only for one day; however there are two different outfits.

TWO OUTFITS in one work day, you ask? What are you a fashionista? Are you that vain? Do you work in NYC as a model? Oh, you humble me with such questions, but no, nothing so glamorous.

Actually, my two outfits are the product of something OPPOSITE of glamorous.

Behold Outfit #1:
Skirt: Victoria’s Secret
Top: Ann Taylor Loft
Shoes: Nine West
Tape: Anderson Physical Therapy
Yep, you read and see correctly, TAPE! My ankles are taped circa college soccer 2004. This past summer I was having trouble with my calves and IT band because of overuse. After weeks of pain I finally went to the doctor who promptly told me “You need to SLOW DOWN and stop OVERUSING your body”! What?!?! I’m not 21 anymore, surely you jest Doc! Anyway, long story short I have been going to a Physical Therapist (WHO TOTALLY ROCKS MY SOCKS…or SHOES) and have finally been diagnosed with weak ankles. REALLY…weak ankles, how pathetic does that sound? But, in all fairness I have sprained both ankles more times than I can count playing soccer, especially in high school and college. These weak ankles have cause my calves to work double time and BOOM, super tight calves!
So, my treatment has become getting my ankles taped once a week before any athletic events, along with ankle exercises to strengthen my muscles. I have been doing this the past 3 weeks or so and have never had a problem. Cue yesterday. With the random NICE weather we have had here on the East coast, I was super excited to break my skirts back out and enjoy showing off my gams (hahah jk). Got ready in the morning, headed to PT in my shorts&Tshirt, packed my bag with said outfit to change into and BOOM!

---HELLOOOOOOOOOO taped ankles----
Despite the fact that my work is pretty casual there was NO WAY I was going to show up to work with tape on my ankles (My coworker K would have KILLED ME).

Behold Outfit #2:

Pants: Express
Top: Ann Taylor Loft
Shoes: Nine West

NO TAPE, YAYSKI!!! I will now be paying more attention to the weather and will make sure to have at least ONE cup of coffee before I pack my bag for PT.

So, there is my WIWW mini-first edition. Please don’t laugh too much!

October 25, 2010

"Being a happy couple is a healthy thing"

RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean right?!?!?!?!

"He knows you"
"You know him"
"You have a good foundation"
"He knows how to commit, it's a good thing"


I like Addison Montgomery on Private Practice. I was not a fan of her character on Grey's Anatomy though because I truly thought Meredith and Derek should be together, but I digress. On PP she has a spine, she stands up for what she believes in, except in a relationship. She is always getting the short end of the stick, many times by her own hand. However, so far in the current season her love life is going HER way. She has the guy, things are great in every way possible, AND SHE IS OVERANALYZING and WAITING and EXPECTING it to go south.

Does she sound like someone you know?!? Yeah I'm talk to you -->P!NKY<--!!!

The quotes above are from the PP last week and while I was watching it(atwork..shh) I found myself realizing, OMGOSH, I'm ADDISON! (minusthecrazyrelationshipsamazingdoctorpartplusmyChristianmoralspart). I am always trying to plan 5 steps ahead so I won't get hurt. And when things are good...almost perfect...I'm looking past it and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the fun quirky side of the relationship, but I haven't fully LOST myself in the feeling, in the meaning, in the relationship.

I have NEVER said I love you first...EVEREVEREVER! I do my best to not let myself get attached too quickly to the actual person. I do get attached to the idea of having SOMEONE (anyone) as THAT person who is always there for you though. But, I have always managed to keep it to a very generic feeling, like a friend. I mean, that's the worst part about breakups for me. Losing that FRIEND...that PERSON who is there and gets you and sees you in a certain way. But, I digress. (I do that ALOT)!

My sisters and friends always tell me "Relax, don't think so much. Let things happen." But I rarely can. I mean, I do just let things happen, I don't voice my concerns to the boyfriend or anything. I don't change around them. I am not the whiny girl constantly wanting to talk about feelings and such. Nope, I just shut it off in a nice little compartment in myself and just let it sit there....and sit there....just waiting for that 1 thing! That 1 tiny little thing that starts the beginning of the end.

THE END...that's all I've known with relationships. I've been broken up with and I've initiated the break up. I've had good, mutual break ups. I've been blindsided and hurt. I've been the one to blindside and hurt as well. As I am sure everyone has. But, I've never known the concept of forever. I thought I knew it with my first boyfriend in college, but looking back it was puppy love and innocent.

This post is going all over the place, so let me see if I can get myself back on track. Things are good with C and me. We hang out all the time (which is a BIG deal for me). We compliment each other in a way I never knew was possible in my life. We tease each other but it's always in good fun. There is a real equalness in power within the relationship, I really don't feel there is a tilt either way. I miss him throughout the day at work, but don't feel the need to be in constant contact with him and vice versa. He supports me and I support him. He gets the contradiction of my Christian faith and trying to fit in with the secular world (post for another day of course). He calls me honey or baby which I love. He makes breakfast in the morning. He lets me create my own space at his place. He stays up late waiting for my athletic games to be over. He gets along with my family. HE'S ALMOST PERFECT!


Because I feel I can't compete with him. I don't know how he feels, he doesn't talk about it. But seriously, how many guys do? And, we're at just over 3 months. And that's when things always happen with me. SOMETHING always comes along around now....and I'm WAITING to see what it is. However, I don't know how to address this to C. 'Hey honey, just an FYI, we're gonna have something bad happen in our relationship soon.' Yeah, I bet he'd LOVE THAT! So, of course I won't say anything. My drama is stored in my compartment as usual and I will just sit back and wait.

and wait.
and wait.

For this wonderful thing to combust...because, hey, that's what I do.

October 22, 2010

Thirteen Thursdays

ANOTHER LIST?!?!?! Yeah, I haven't been in the mood to write posts that require capitalization and actually putting words in a correct order. So here is my list of 13 for Thursday!

Today's theme is 'THANKFUL'!

1)I am thankful I have a job. It is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I can live comfortably and have made some great friendships in the past 4 years.

2)My family is attending the wedding of our dear associate pastor this weekend. It will be a day trip (about a 4 hour drive each way), but I am so looking forward to it. She has since moved on to another church but was such a valuable friendship while she helped lead our congregation. We forged a blessed friendship which I am oh so thankful for.

3)I get to see my baby sister who is away at law school. I don't like having her far away and am glad I get an opportunity to see her.

4)My Physical Therapist/Trainer who has reached a break through in diagnosing my leg injury. I have been seeing her for a month or so and she is so awesome. Not 100% sure if this diagnosis is correct, but it has been helping my sports participation. (details for another post)

5)I am thankful for all of the wonderfully creative people online who have such a talent. I finally ordered something from and Esty shop at PurpleLemonDesigns and am so excited! If you get the chance visit her website, it is amazing! (

6)My Keuring coffee maker in the mornings. Can'

7) 20% off coupon at BedBathandBeyond to make buying special coffee cheaper

8)My boss is taking tomorrow off....Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

9)Seeing teammates for the first time this season. I am on 32940830 different sports teams and my Thursday night team has been neglected. But I am able to make the game tonight and can't wait to see a bunch of my friends

10) In 5ish months my roommate will be moving out of the country. We have had a really rough patch the last few weeks and even if she wasn't moving I would be moving to a different place because it has gotten pretty bad.

11)My friends who are supporting me and letting me come chill at their places when I don't want to just sit at my apartment. I am super blessed.

12)My boyfriend, C. He randomly appeared in my life and while I was the instigator (I approached him, in a rare brave moment) he and I are on equal playing fields now. He isn't the most talkative guy and doesn't tell me how much I mean to him very often. But, he now shows me in small gestures that have really started to melt my heart

13)That TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

********SIDENOTE: This was obviously suppose to be posted yesterday but I got distracted!********

October 19, 2010

Ten for Tuesday

This probably won't become a habit, but for lack of post inspiration I thought "YAY, a get to know me list" :)

1)I hate FEET! They totally gross me out. My feet and especially the feet of other people. Don't touch mine and don't even think about asking me to touch yours. I didn't have my first pedicure until I was a senior in college because I HATE people touching my feet.

2) I love sweets and carbs. This makes it hard to keep my trim shape. I have gotten better at limiting my sweets, but gosh darn those carbs. One of the main reasons I haven't pursued a job in personal training, no control over the last 5% of my diet.

3)I love dogs.

4)I can't stand cats (semi allergic).

5)Speaking of animals, my bark is much worse than my bite. I am very sarcastic and talk a very very big game. I am constantly quoting inappropriate rap songs because of their "I am the best (or another four letter word)" mantra. If you were to meet me at a bar I would be the first person to say I would take on anyone messing with my friends or being obnoxious.

6) But at the heart, I LOATHEHATECANTSTAND confrontation. My stomach hurts and my whole body reacts for hours before or after a confrontation. If I'm mad a significant other or friend I worry for days about the best way to deal with the conflict. I have gotten better at speaking my mind at the time, but because of my college major I really try to evaluate the situation before freaking out (unless you are my family, all bets are off them).

7)I thought that by this point in my life I would already be married and possibly starting a family. But, I'm still the single girl (well I have a boyfriend, C, but only of 3 months), but I'm not the wifey to the hubby which is what I thought I would have by now.

8)I often find myself as a contradiction of life. I am super into sports and very tomboyish. However, I go through periods where I love to always match, I always have my hair and makeup done and I don't look like I play any type of sport. I also am very Christian, love Jesus and am very conservative in most of my beliefs. Yet, if you saw me at a bar you wouldn't have the slightest clue I go to church on Sunday. This is something I need/want to work on.

9)I'm starting to really fall in love with C. And it's the most comforting SLASH scary feeling I've ever had in a relationship. This is so different and I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

10)As shallow as it sounds (and as bad as it sounds after #9) I want to randomly run into some movie star actor and have him fall in love with me so we can live happily ever after.

What's your 10?!?!?!?

October 15, 2010

FaithFULL Fridays

"So do not fear, for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

Isaiah 41:10

October 13, 2010

Wondering Wednesdays

In an effort try and keep things interesting here in P!nk town I am looking for ways to spice up posts. Alot of the blogs I am viewing..ahem stalking...participate in 'What I wore Wednesdays' but I am not quite comfortable with that yet (although with my recent trip, it would be a pretty interesting post). So I created my own Wednesday themed post titled 'Wondering Wednesdays'.

~I wonder how long it will take before I am brave enough to actually leave a comment on any of the blogs I have been lurking on the past year

~I wonder if any of the girls who blog on said sites would even be remotely interested in my boring, single girl life

~I wonder how long this bout of blogging will last

~I wonder what life has in store for me

~I wonder how I am going to get through these next 5 months with the roommate situation I have going on now

~I wonder if another argument is in my future or if I will be able to just deal with things how they are

~I wonder what the future for C and I will be

~I wonder if my dream of having a husband and a little one will ever come true

~I wonder how long it will be before I take the plunge and try and get my own place

~I wonder what C meant when he told me I shouldn't look for my OWN place yet

~I wonder if he remembers me saying (at least 3 times) I won't live with someone until I am married

~I wonder if this relationship will get past the dreaded 6 months demise

~I wonder how long it will take for me to get back in pre-injury shape

~I wonder if I will be able to get back into my healthy eating routine before the holidays

~I wonder where on EARTH did the summer go

~I wonder if I will have someone to spend the holidays with (C?)

~I wonder how C's new job will affect our relationship (more $$ but more time on the road)

~I wonder if I will ever get an answer to any of these wonderings

-----What do YOU WONDER about???-----

October 12, 2010

Like the Terminator


Hello there friends, sorry I've been so MIA! There have been many times I've wanted to come back to the blogging world but never got around to it. However, after some new blog stalking I have decided to try and jump back on the wagon.

Below please find my list of excuse for the lack of blogging:

1) I've been busy
2) Work is crazy now = less time for blogging
3) I got distracted by my new interest C
4) Happy to tell you C and I are doing well, been together for 3ish months
5) I realize this isn't a reason for being MIA but figured it was newsworthy
6) I have been super lazy about my home Internet and have gotten too frustrated when trying to blog at home
7) TV season is here so have been catching up on my shows at work instead of blogging (shhhhhhhhhhh don't tell my boss)
8) My life hasn't been too interesting so I haven't had much to report
9) Okay that's a semi-lie
10) I don't like my blog layout and have been lazy about fixing it

But, I'm back now kids so I hope you are ready to 'grab your gear' (heartNCIS) and jump back along for the ride.


July 23, 2010

I'm getting do I make it stop?!?!



And yet here I am, at 20 something and feeling like I'm 30 something.

Now, I am not taking a hit at the age 30 or 20, or call people who are those ages old. That is the furthest thing from how I feel. This is more about how I can tell MY body is getting old. And HOW MUCH I HATE IT!

I am not the most athletic person on the block by any means, but I do look athletic. I was extremely blessed with my parent's athletic gene's and am able to pick up any sport pretty quickly. Again, not the best at each sport but definitely able to understand the fundamentals and pick up the game pretty quickly. I have also been the girl on the team who could RUN FOREVER and never get sore or get hurt. Seriously, I have sprained my ankles multiple times, strained a quad and groin playing college ball but that's it. Never any knee problems or anything serious with my body. I've always been able to bounce back from anything pretty quickly and never really had to take any time off because of an injury.

ENTER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been in serious pain with my IT band for the past 3 weeks and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY! I can't participate in the sports they way I normally do because my legs hurt so much. Now, I will own up to this being my fault from over use and probably...okay definitely...not stretching enough and taking care of myself. I know i know i know it's my fault, but I also know it is because I am not 21 years old and a college athlete anymore. AND THAT KILLS ME TO NO END!


July 19, 2010

Quick what's P!nky thinkin'

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry kids!!!!!!!!!

I know, I know! I am a bad bad P!nky!

I have been soooooooo bad about upDATing and I feel badly about it. When I was just a lurker I never understood how people could go so long without updating. Didn't they know I wanted to know how they were doing?!?!?

Well, now that I am on the flip side I have to apologize to both people who blog (now I know what you mean) and those who are reading here (allll __ of you heeehee).

There are a bunch of posts percolating in my 'edit posts' folder, but I haven't had time to get everything all together to have them all make sense. I hope to soon because I think some of them could be really good, but not timely. Hopefully I will get the chance to get everything I want down in a cohesive blog in the near future.

Life has gotten busy busy again for me. Work is picking up and now involves alot of tedious blahness which keeps me from wanting to type on the comp if I don't have to. I have been busy with extra curricular activities but have been trying to tone down my nonsense and recently have been successful. I usually go through waves on nonsense randomly, but this time I can definitely link the past 2 months of craziness to the hurt and debacle that was GT and P!nky. I have still not gotten my center back but am now digging my way back up.

I have also started dating someone new, a guy from one of my teams who we will call 'C'. (Trying to keep this blog anonymous is really getting tricky when I try to name people). We have played on the same team for a season now, but didn't really get to talking/hanging out till the middle of last month.....during my crazy stage. YES, this all started because of liquid courage on me part.....AGAIN! Which I guess isn't a bad thing, because nothing would have started had I not been the one to come up to C, since he is a quiet kind of guy. Not shy per say, but just quiet and all internalish. But, we have good conversations and I enjoy his company. We are not yet 'official' but we determined if anyone on our team asks we are 'dating'. Which, I am okay with, because I don't want to have things get serious too fast like they did with GT.

Obviously I don't want the same thing to happen with C that happened with GT, so I'm going to have to bring up the religious question soon. He knows I go to church every Sunday, and has seen the different sides of my personality, but now I need to ask him what he believes and what is important to him. It's a little awkward for me though, because things are still in the very early stages and I don't want to make things more serious then they are. However when talking out loud to myself and others I determined I WILL NOT make the SAME MISTAKE I did with GT. I can't wait that long to bring something so important to the table. So, I can just make a new mistake and maybe bring it up too early or at the wrong time and just learn from that experience. I enjoy hanging out with B and who knows where things will end up, but I'm not going to have the same thing happen twice in a row.

June 21, 2010

Mondaze, Solo, Motivation

P!nky's thoughts for the day:

I am not a person who likes Mondays. Not that many people do, but I find I really don't like them. I very often come across the Manic Monday or the Murphy's Law Monday and boy, they are NOT FUN! I think my dislike of Mondays stems from the fact my Sundays are usually extremely busy. I have morning church (sometimes after a late night, which is my own fault I know), then family brunch/lunch, a soccer game sometime throughout the afternoon and of course laundry. This past Sunday was extremely busy because I had early Sunday school (and YES after staying up wayyyyyyyy tooooo late Saturday night), church, World Cup games, the pool, an oil change, a soccer game and then a family tennis lesson, plus laundry. PHEW!!!!!!!!! I was super exhausted which thankfully led to a much needed passed out sleep, but I am super tired and bored today at work.

And OF COURSE today would be the first day of Summer...the LONGEST day of the year....BOOOO CARD!


My roommate, P, and I are going on 2 years and I'm feeling the relationship ending.
And it needs too. She and I are
and one of my biggest issues is
Cleanly (I know it's not a word but it works with my ly structure).
I have become OCD about keeping main rooms clean ever since I lived with my OCD bffer. She never had
out of
After living with her, I became accustomed to living a certain way, with a certain standard. Enter P, who does not have the same standard at all. Now, she isn't dirty, at least not in the main rooms. But, she has a habit of leaving things out in the living room and in the kitchen. And in the beginning she wasn't that bad. However lately things have gotten really lax and I am not liking it.
I tried to mention this nicely too her...but no dice. She just felt I was nagging, got defensive and said she does keep things clean. Which,to her credit is probably true to her standards, but not mine.
At my age I think i deserve to know what kind of state my home will be in, and have the right to keep it clean. I think I just need my own space that I can treat however I want.

This poster is how I feel right now.
About Life....about my job...about where I am in life...about dating...basically about everything.
I have all of these dreams and goals,
but right now lack the motivation to do anything about them.
I think some of it stems from FEAR of the unknown,
but also, I am not motivated to get things done.
Usually I am.
Usually I am a go to girl for projects.
But lately not so much.
I need to find the motivation in myself to start getting the jobs done.
Because I don't want to look back on my next 4 years and go....WHAT DID I DO?
Or really, what did I NOT DO!

June 16, 2010

What's P!nky Thinkin'?

A guy I work with loves to be a smartaleck about alot of things.
Most of the time it has to do with how I phrase questions or comments
(I've been known to speak before I think....ooopps, that's why you love me wink wink)
Anyway, yesterday I approached him and said "You know what I was thinking?"
And without batting an eye he says "yes, I often sit here and think,
What's P!nky Thinkin?"

And I thought, hey, that's a fun new way to take my blog. I've been slacking lately
but it's because I always want things to be good and well written and thought out
but sometimes the free flowing
easy goin
ya knowin'
jibber jabber can produce some of the best posts and ideas.
So for the next few blogs I'm just gonna write
What P!nky's Thinkin'

World Cup
like for realzzzzzzz!
This is the best time of year, soccer games galore. And the timing is amazing,
because my work has tvs everywhere. So I get to see all the games all day.
And it is GLORIOUS!
I just really don't like all the haters.
the ignorant people that don't know anything about soccer.
stop complaining about soccer being on tv all the time.
last time I checked it was only on 2 channels....2!
So, change the channel and shut your mouth please.


I'm playing with fire....but I think I like it
Fire burns I know...but that's only if you get too close, but if you just
stand really close
but not too close
it gives you a warmth that you can
all the way to your insides.
The warmth is something that can
be sooooo addicting, that you keep creeping closer
and closer and
closer and then
you're burned. But NOPE!
I'mma keep my distance and just play by the fire. Roast a few smores,
but not too many, just enough to take the edge off.
Basically this means I enjoy kicking it with J, even though I know his ways.
I am testing my 'lack of emotions' feelings
because I am bored
and because he is fun
and good looking
and not looking
for anything serious. Which is perfect for me, cause I right now I am able
to separate
feelings from emotions wink wink.

Life seems to be passing me by
and All I seem to be doing is
and waiting
and watching and
waiting and
I'm dealing with the what ifs and not the nows.
and it has to stop!

June 8, 2010

Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

Have you ever randomly picked up an old CD, popped it in the car and then BOOM you hear that one song that explains everything you have been thinking but haven't been able to put into words? Well, that happened to me earlier this week.

I randomly popped in my Ashlee Simpson CD (please don't judge).
She had some good dance around songs and
some pretty
power ballads.
I was just zipping along, driving down the highway when this track came on.
"Catch me when I fall"
I believe she wrote this song after her failed appearance on SNL,
where she was accused of lip singing.
And there was a HUGE backlash from the radio
her fans
her haters
and basically everyone who saw the clip.

Now, I really haven't had a 'fall on my face in public' moment like her
(which I am SUPER grateful for)
But lately,
since all the drama of the GT break up
I really haven't been in the best of places.
And it's bad,
I mean pretty bad.
I've gotten away from who I am at the core
and have started to look towards social comforts to numb my pain.
This pain of being alone.

But you wouldn't know it from the way I act.
I have been the constant entertainment for my friends the past few weeks
with all of my boy stories
and partying stories
and acting silly crazy stories. I'm putting myself
in some pretty interesting situations, that come out okay
but aren't really the norm for someone like me.
And while everyone is laughing with me and saying how funny I am and
how they want to live vicariously through me
all I can think about is this verse from Ashlee's song:

"It may seem I have everything.
But everything means nothing,
when the ride that you've been on,
that you're coming off
leaves you feeling lost"

Because right now, I think I'm starting to feel lost.
I'm good at hiding my feelings,
'but when the lights are off, somethings killing me'

All I want to do now is shout,
"who will be the one to save me from myself.
who's gonna catch me when I fall?"

May 27, 2010

Everyone deserves alittle fun....right?

Soooooooo, it's been awhile. And for that I'm sorry. But, I really haven't had anything great to say recently, things have been pretty ho-hum. I mean life is still trucking along with the usual in's and out's, here and there's and high's and low's. As is my usual, I have been doing alot of thinking about my life; what I want, what I have and what I don't want. And what's funny is lately all of these wants have been changing day to day.

I want the house with the picket fence
I want to travel abroad for years
I want the husband and 3 kids
I want my freedom to do as I please
I want my friends to set me up with different guys
I want to be seen as a strong independent woman
I want stability and a safety net
I want the adventurous, tumultuous chaos of fun.

So after the GT fiasco of not being on the same page and all (blah blah blah), I told myself I am going to change my MO and get serious about dating (as cheesy as that sounds blah). Anyway, I decided I was not going to date just to date. I know that not every guy I go on a date with will be my Mr. Right or the One and I understand I might have to go on a few dates to find out if they mesh with my life. However, I have been in relationships before where I've always known we weren't meant to be, but I let it drag on thinking 1) he will change 2) things will get better with time 3) I'm having fun and don't want to be alone. Every time I encounter this feeling, things end badly, feelings get hurt and I end up kicking myself and saying "I told you so child". So, since the relationship with GT ended, my ego was a little bruised and I'm not gonna lie, there have been times where I have turned on the charm extra hard or made an extra effort to look nice. But, I've never really given the impression I am 'looking' for anything because I don't want to deal with it.

ENTER THURSDAY NIGHT.....I participate in different sporting activities to stay in shape and to make new friends. Thursday night is a standing activity night that includes an athletic event and then fun at a bar. I've met alot of fun people and enjoy Thursday nights (although Friday mornings are a different story, wink wink). So this Thursday I had planned to make it an early night because I was tired and there weren't alot of people at the bar to play with. However, through some random turn of events that did not end up happening. My roommate (B), myself and a couple of friends ended up closing down the bar (bad news bears). But my having a good time and pulling an oops is not the point of this post.

Playing different activities helps you meet different people...or let's you admire different people from afar ;). So I have had a crush on this one guy, Z, for the past year and half but have never done anything about it. I've had a boyfriend for some of the time, but really I was too chicken to go up and talk to him. Well, of course B knows about my crush and decided to tell said crush on Thursday saaaaaaaaaaay what?!

Okay, okay, I am going to cut the chase. Z and I hung out Thursday night and then had lunch on Friday. It was alot of fun and he was/is different than I expected, but in a good way. Funny, charming, adventurous, chatty, gregarious, cute, sweet and a good guy. Do I think all of your P's and Q's will match up, NOPE, but I want to have some fun. He's a good guy for once I am taking things day by day and seeing where it will go. We have hung out twice and have had a really good time and it's just easy. No pressure, no expectations, no commitment, just fun. It might just be a summer fling, but for once, that's okay by me.


May 13, 2010

What are friends for?

I've recently had alot of blog ideas rolling around in my head, but haven't had the time...okay okay the patience... to actually put them into words. So there will hopefully be a bunch of posts in the near future.

How amazing are friends? I know I wouldn't be able to survive without my friends. Life is too hard to go about alone and let's face it, alot less fun too. What do friends do? EVERYTHING!!!

Friends are there to tell you when you look fabulous.
Friends are there to tell you "oh girl no!"
Friends are there to sit around and chat with about nothing at the table
Friends are there when something amazing happens
Friends are there to take you to the ER after a soccer game
Friends are there to listen to you complain 1948034 over a relationship
Friends are there to tell you he is the wrong guy for you
Friends are there and let you make your own mistakes
Friends are there to pick up the pieces after those mistakes

Friends ARE LOVE
Friends are the family God 'forgot' to give you!

Happy Friday FRIENDS!!!


May 7, 2010

I AM AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!??!?!


I have never been that girl and now I am. The reasons for my previous posts were because I realized that GT lied about wanting to be friends, so I was hurt and pissed again. But the I realized that 1) I am way better than he deserves and 2) If someone doesn't want to be friends with me, that's okay. I won't force my friendship on anyone. Your loss not mine.

Well, I figured out he didn't want to be friends because, idiot child here, decided to text him late on Saturday night after 1 too many classes of wine. Now, don't fret it wasn't one of THOSE texts, because that is not me 100%. It was a 'I hope we can be friends someday text.' Never got an answer so got pissed. FOOL ME TWICE I'LL KICK YOUR a$$ right?!? I'm moving on with my life, getting less mad each day. Still upset I never got to say what I wanted to say but that's just life right. Case close, relationship over, on to the next one.

Or not so much.
This afternoon I was treated to an email from GT.
YEP an email.
6 days after a text....yes, 6 days but who's counting.
The email consisted of the 'I got your text but was so busy.' nonsense
'I hope all is well. Was really happy to hear from you' really you don't say?
'I hope we can hang out in the future' SIKEABOOBOO!

So NOW I have to figure out a polite way to say, yeah we can be cordial but we will never be friends. I don't do your kind of friendship or relationships.

WHY AM I AN IDIOT?!? I should have kept my mouth shut, and my phone closed.

May 5, 2010

Change in perspective

So, I've realized you go through different phases with a break up.

Anger.Sadness.Doubt.Happiness.Despair.Lividness(yes i know i made it up).Relief.Acceptance.

You start to see yourself in different ways:

As a fool
As someone who loves greatly
As someone you hates
Someone who forgives
Someone who accepts and moves on
You see yourself becoming happier
more cynical
more loving
more accepting

And you find yourself getting back to the old you, pre-significant other,
but with strength from what you learned in said relationship.

I've been moving towards a more loving and accepting feeling lately.
I've taken ownership for my own short comings in the relationship
and also come to terms with the fact GT and I will probably never interact again.

Which, for his sake, is probably a good thing now.
Because, my philosophy has changed on the situation.

Before this was my quote:
Shame on you if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice.

And now, thanks to a random suggestion from a random acquaintance:
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, I'll kick your @$$

Now, for those of you who don't really know me (which is anyone reading this blog, but I digress) you will find that to be a very very different and somewhat untrue perspective for me to have. I have and probably will always be the nice girl, who goes out of her way to help everyone, enjoys the color pink and just lives in a world of rainbows, unicorns, glitter. Or as my bff would say, in a bubble (which I happen to like thank you very much).

But, I am growing up.
I am realizing life is not a bubble and that sometimes you can't be nice.
(Contrary to what Thumper's mother taught him, I know. I still heart you Disney!)
I don't like being played as the fool.

GT lied to me for a month about our relationship, ie he wasn't really in it.
And now he lied about trying/wanting to be friends.

So, while believing still 'shame on me' it's also, 'watch your back'!

Again, I am a lover not a fighter. I hate confrontation. I hate arguing.
I can't even watch it on TV without squirming.

But mark my words, if I run into GT anytime in the near future:


Now, don't worry. I am not one of those girls on Jerry Springer, Maury or Montel (does anyone still remember Montel? He was a good guy before all the $$ drama). There won't be a fight with slapping, punching, or hitting. Trust me, if he came at me I would enjoy nothing more than laying one on him, but I will give him credit, GT would never hit a girl. However, the ignoring and the Ice Queen act will turn on faster than you can say SNOWTORIOUS B-I-G! Move along little boy, you are not welcome here. I don't do childish immaturity anymore. And if you push me too far my rum and sprite might just end up on your cheap polo. I'm just saying.

I know this doesn't sound very Christian, and in all honestly nothing will ever happen. GT lived 5 minutes away from me the past 2 years and the first time I ever saw him was 8 months ago. Oh and we use to go to the same gym. So,the odds of us running into each other out are very very slim.

But, if it happens, GT will be reminded of something I told him while we were dating.

I might be tiny, but I can still kick your a$$!

May 4, 2010

Writing to my soul

Hello friends!
How are you?
I am well thank you!
No really, I am. I am good. I am healthy. Moving on.

I have done alot of growing these past few weeks. Since me growing up is such a shocking thought, I have been trying to document all of my grown up or non grown up thoughts. While writing can be time consuming and tedious, it is so amazing to look back at the past few weeks and see the ups and downs I went through. And although I don't consider myself an Edgar Allen Poe or Margaret Mitchell ( I heart Gone with the Wind ) I believe I am a pretty good writer. And these past few weeks have been good writing for me. But yet, I still haven't found the EXACT words I want to use to describe how I feel and have felt.

So I keep writing,
and writing,
and writing.
Hoping to find the correct phrases.
But no dice!

However, I did some blog walking this morning and LO AND BEHOLD...the exact words I have been looking for are on this girl's page.
Now, if this were a research paper I would cite her blog (although I don't think blogs are considered usable references, but hey, I graduated college awhile ago) and paraphrase her words. Now, I don't know if this is legit in the blogging world, but it's all I've got. Below please excerpts of an amazing writer named C.

"When we really, really love someone it always starts off as, "this person compliments me-- we bring out the best in each other. They quite possibly posses the mind and face and body of someone I'd like to see everyday. forever. You revel in each other's presence and quirks and every new discovery, every witty thing he says, or silly habit I notice fills in this mystery that you just have to solve. It starts off innocently enough, but each little clue is a chip of a the other person's heart and you start storing them up until you've given over the whole thing.

I first went into my relationship thinking that THIS is going to be the one that sticks. The one where we don't have "breaks," or turbulent fights and low blows. I was absolutely set on and refused to accept another heartbreak. In this one I would compromise and listen....I wouldn't be too prideful, possessive or distrusting. I carefully placed each brick, with intention to in the long run build something solid.

Unfortunately, my obsession with refusing to see disappointment festered like a cancer. Slowly, it was just a tiny snag that goes ignored until something catches it...and then all of a sudden you've got a pile of yarn and no blanket. And it's the middle of winter. And you don't sew. Screw sewing.

When you love someone you just want them to be everything to you. The pillar, the muse, the port in the storm, the provider and the counselor. You think that they'll see the things that hurt you and protect you from them- without you having to ask. It's an unspoken rule that once this person is "my person" they'll be there when I'm lonely, or have a flat tire or need a drinking partner, because all those "little things" represent something so much bigger...something that proves faithfulness and security. Trust that that heart you gave over when everything was still sunshine and roses is going to be taken care of.

We ask a lot from each other....but we do it because there isn't anyone else in the whole world who can fill in all the blank colors with such absolute vivid, perfection.

I know what I need to do....I need to reintroduce myself to that girl, the one who sauntered into an audition- fearless and brazenly self-confident that captured his attention, without meaning to and kept it. The girl who went to dinner by herself because food tastes better when you don't have any distractions...or anywhere to be. The girl who took vacations alone and went to the art museum solo. Who lived FREELY and passionately, not because I was trying to prove anything to anyone...but because it made me HAPPY. Who wasn't an observer, but an active creator....waiting for no one, those who wanted to jump on the boat were welcome, but regardless, the boat was going somewhere"

How absolutely incredible are the those words? How amazingly do they fit MY BREAK UP!?! And here I am thinking I was going through this alone and was the only one feeling this way. I went to write this talented muse a comment and then got sidetracked reading all of the uplifting comments other women wrote.

Check it out:

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." This may not pertain to GT but how BEAUTIFUL is this quote?

"I think that strong, independent girls are really just regular girls who have higher walls around their hearts. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because it weeds out a lot of the bull shit - most guys don't have the patience to scale that wall. It's a bad thing though, because when someone does make it inside it's absolutely SO MUCH more painful when that something ends or hits the skids. " How true, how very true!

So while these were not my words I hope you can appreciate them as much as I did.
THIS IS HOW I FELT! And still feel.
But I am closer to who I was before.
And who I will be with the right person.

I'm so happy I started a blog!
I hope those who read are too!