Monday night I had a moment. A very big moment. It turned into a big #transformationtuesday moment. If you follow me on insta you've already seen what I'm talking about, but for my records here it is again.
The picture you see above is me last summer/fall. Pretty sweet right? I've worked forever to get abs and boom they finally showed up. I was the leanest I've ever been and back at my wedding weight, which is where I've T R I E D to get many times, to no avail. And finally, HERE I WAS, goal weight and abs showing.
But, at what cost? I was teaching probably 7 of the same classes a week, plus certifying another format, all while looking for a full time job. The girl up there...wasn't sleeping. The girl up there...was barely eating because there was no appetite due to stress. The girl up there...lost EIGHT pounds in a month due to a death in the family and life. The girl up there... was living in someone else's home trying desperately to figure out where life was going to turn next.
Monday I taught a BODYATTACK class and as I looked in the mirror I immediately went yuck. My arms...not as toned. My legs...big. My booty...strong but not lifted enough. My stomach...soft, soft soft. It was disheartening when I realized how far I had 'let myself go'. I had a down in the dumps moment, then rocked the stage as best I could for my members.
After class I got to thinking. This 'softer' body still functions like the leaner one. I can still rock two classes a day. I can still tuck jump, pushup, pull up, squat and run with a smile while teaching. This softer body is due to stability. To an actual INCOME where eating cheat meals can happen without freaking out. Where small little victories equal a trip to froyo to celebrate. Where I'm actually HUNGRY and want to eat food. Where pop tarts with coworkers become a fun bonding moment. This softer body isn't a BAD thing. Is it where I want to be ideally? NO! But, I can make the right choices and get where I want SAFELY and the right way.
Longwinded post, and possibly boring for most, but hey, that's cool. I just wanted to pop in and say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Take today as a moment to reflect on how incredible your body is RIGHT NOW, because it REALLY is an incredible machine. < 3
I went through the exact thing as you - finally got abs this year but it cost me my period and sent me into pre-menopause!
ReplyDeletei LOVED what i was doing and my abs weren't my goal; they just appeared due to hard training (muay thai) 6 days a week, super clean eating etc. I was also struggling with multiple and consistent injuries but because i love muay thai so much, i just went with it.
to save my period, i had to dial back muay thai to 3 days a week (you have no idea how hard this has been) and gain 10lbs and guess what? my period came back and 100% regular; as in to-the-day regular but no more abs.
it sucks but my hormone health is more important.
I love this post, thank you!
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE BEAUTIFUL don't you ever forget that! Don't let your outward appearance EVER effect your inward!
ReplyDeleteGirl you're amazing! Even if you don't look as you did last fall, you're happier and your life is fuller. I've learned that I'll never be happy cutting out things just to look a certain way. I just live by everything in moderation with no deprivation, and to stay fit and active for a healthy balance. Rock it gurlie <3
ReplyDeleteGreen Fashionista
You are beautiful my friend!!! Being happy with who you are as a person is more important. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is better to have an extra 10 pounds on and be happy with your life is my current mantra and good for you for having that same attitude. You still look amazing and your body does amazing things!
ReplyDeleteExactly. Sometimes I think the same thing, but have to remind myself that I had two kids...be thankful they are healthy and everything we have around us.
ReplyDeleteHappiness and balance is key! Even though you look amazingly fit in the photo, I'm sure you're not far behind due to you just being so activr and now eating well again. Enjoy the new beginnings, the happiness, and the beautiful you from inside to out! xo
ReplyDeleteyou know how i feel about this. balance is so important :) you go girl!
ReplyDeleteGirl I'm sorry you had a moment of sadness, but BALANCE is everything. You are amazing and always work SO hard! Both in and out of the gym :) PS you look amazing! Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteOOMPH. Just saw this after my last comment. :-\
ReplyDelete