May 22, 2017

If I'm Being Honest

If I'm being honest//

// I'd tell you how much I hate this stage of DIY renovation. My teeth are on edge often when I'm home because it's in such a state of chaos. I know and understand it will all be worth it in the end but right now, I'M SO SICK OF IT I COULD SCREAM!

// Money has been keeping me up at night. Can't I just win the lottery already?

// My PT exam is coming up and I am 100% not ready for it, due to my own stupidity. I've failed to study when I should and so now begins the cramming process until June.

// The past two weeks off of teaching have been much more of a dream than expected. Don't get me wrong, I miss my music, my classes and participants desperately, but not having to rush to teach and then get home late has been quite a lovely change of pace.

// All of my 'eating all the things' has me feeling very large, bloated and fat. I've been very indulgent and while I'm happy to have my life back my body is not quite as jubilant as my tastebuds.

// Waking up every four hours is really starting to wear on me, especially after a busy long weekend. How I wish my body would learn to sleep quickly and stay asleep all night.

// I'm quite anxious to get back into the sweaty session swing of things. I need to move and start getting back on track workout wise. Mornings are going to be very early soon now with morning workouts making a return.

// The state of this blog has me debating whether to try and resurrect it or let it slowly fade out.

// Teaching my first BARRE class this week in six months has me more nervous than expected.

// My slow recovering from gallbladder surgery pissed me off and no one understanding my attitude annoyed me as well. I completely understand my body lost an organ and there were incisions made in my body, totally get it. BUT, EVERYONE else said it was nothing. EVERYONE else said they were up and moving the next day easily. EVERYONE else said it was such an easy surgery and I'd feel right as rain afterwards. I don't like being bad at anything, ever.

// Hearing the PA on Wednesday explain my tight abs might have made it harder to recover made my week. I'm not trying to brag about my health over anyone, but to FINALLY understand WHY it hurt so much makes me happy. So, yeah, I'll take it!


  1. one word to help your anxiety/disturbed sleep at night: MAGNESIUM. I swear on my life; taking this supplement has totally turned things around both for me and my 8yr old. she's been having issues sleeping (anxiety, restlessness, cramping in her legs aka 'growing pains' etc) and i did a bit of research and found out that low magnesium levels can cause this. i've also been having issues with sleep as well so decided that it doesn't hurt to try.

    it's been a week and i'm floored at how well we sleep! she's so relaxed and herself again and i sleep like i did before, hallelujah!

    i take the Natural Calm magnesium, 2tbsp per day (split into 1 and 1, morning and before bed). IT'S AMAZING.

  2. I'm really sorry that you aren't recovering as quickly as you'd like to. Good luck with your PT exam & with BARRE! I'm sure you'll do great! I hope you choose to stick around but I've definitely been there before where I've taken long breaks & considered just killing my blog.

  3. You're going to do great on your exam!!! Even though I know you missed teaching class, it's nice to just recharge and relax especially after surgery.

  4. You are gonna rock your exam!

    Dont compare yourself to EVERYONE else because you are not everyone else you are Pinky! What your recovery looks like is totally different than someone else recovery.

    Way to go for having tight abs! I wish!

  5. PS. don't let it fade out!

  6. You got this exam girl! You're a rockstar!

  7. Do not let it fade out! We love you! Hugs, lady! XO

  8. You are totally allowed to be mad about a slow recovery! But you'll get there eventually. As far as your blog... do what makes you happy. Mine always abs & flows depending on how much time I dedicate to it, but I never let it be a stresser for me!

  9. Well I certainly hope you don't let the blog fade away! Thinking of you sweet friend and hoping all your classes go awesome! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  10. Ugh I feel you on the sleep thing. What I wouldn't give to fully sleep through one night!

  11. I totally get the sleep thing (and the renovation thing, tbh). I also need to get my eating under control. I've been doing really poorly on my food choices and I was looking in the mirror this morning and thinking WTH HAPPENED TO MY BODY? Which is likely REALLY dramatic... but that's totally a thing.

    My wisdom teeth extraction recovery went the same way as your gallbladder surgery... so I get that, too. Recovery sucks. Period.

  12. I know I'm a month late in commenting, but I've never related to anything more than your first point on renovating! Having your house in a state of chaos is the worst, and after a while you feel like you're going crazy! It sounds like the small break from teaching was good for you, and I hope you're sleeping a bit better now.


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