Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!!!! I do not like how the previous post sounded.
Ugh I sound so whiny.
Ugh I sound so childish.
Ugh I sound so weak.
But luckily things have changed and for the better. This weekend I was suppose to go out of town, but instead stayed around to get things done. I had been a little worried about being in my apt all alone (roommate P was out of town), but my friends and family of course came through again. I had a great time hanging out with people; strengthening new friendships and nurturing old ones. A great church service and a great time cleaning, but let me address the new attitude.
I had been moping while cleaning around the apt and was getting worried about how long this phase would last. And then the most wonderful thing happened. I walked into a room to put something away and when I walked out BOOM, I was 3249803284 pounds lighter because my sadness was gone. I am not kidding GONE! Like someone grabbed it off my shoulders and took it away from me. What caught me by surprise was I wasn't thinking about it or praying about it or anything. I was just walking around the apt doing things. How amazing is our God? He must have known I was ready for the pain and ache to go away.
Now, don't get me wrong. I still miss my friend (it's been 2+ weeks only) and having that person. I still think about him and miss our inside jokes. But, it's more now the normal feeling of....yep we just broke up. Everyone has done it and a lot of people have dealt with worse. But, that feeling of doubt, worthlessness and sadness is GONE GONE GONE!!!!
I am now just living life, licking my wounds when I need to and moving on. Who knows what the future brings but I do know I have the best friend in the world on my side. Thank you Jesus for your love, patience and constant looking out.
Cheers to life!