January 4, 2018

Learning to Swerve Through the Curves of Life

We all have them, right? Big curves and little curves keep our life from being too linear, too straight, too easy. 2016 we gave ourselves a huge curve and spent most of 2017 navigating the twisty turvy new road. Navigating found a steady rhythm by the end of the year, life was humming along nicely and then, BOOM, huuuuuuuuuge swerve in the road.

The week before Christmas my position was eliminated and I was told starting in January my services were no longer needed. I alluded to a big change in this post but couldn't get my head around blogging so I just left it for the new year. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Knowing the business was expanding wasn't anything new, I just had no idea there would be someone doing my job as well as manufacturing which is why I was let go. No indication, no nothing. I was paid throughout the end of the year and my boss told me that Tuesday I could take the rest of the year off since he had a bad experience with someone not coming in after being told they were no longer needed. I'm thankful he let me go before the New Year, though, because I was able to spend EXTRA time in Ohio for Christmas and didn't have to worry about being at work for no reason.

The hardest part about the news was Le Husband was already in Ohio for work and I had to spend Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday morning all alone. He was there for me on the phone, let me cry and even though words are his worst love language he helped me feel safe and protected. His words of "we will be fine" kept me from truly freaking out. Teaching BOOTCAMP and BODYPUMP on Tuesday night were miserable and my dinner that night was wine and noodles. But, I was able to get my game face on at the gym and my amazing Fitness Manager and Operations Manager were all about giving me extra classes and on boarding me as quick as possible so I'd be ready to train in January. I'm lucky, I know, to have something already but it's still quite scary at the moment.

I'll be honest, I debated long and hard about sharing this here. First, it's embarrassing to write out because this wasn't my decision, I was told I was no longer needed. And, even though performance didn't play into everything I can't help but wonder IF there was anything I could have done better to be kept around. If I learned faster, picked up the lingo quicker, didn't ask questions, would I still be there now? While being an admin was never a dream of mine, I hate doing things poorly or being told I'm not good enough. So, there's that piece of putting everything out here.

Second, how many posts did I share in December about being happy and things being better than in 2016? A LOT! While I was very careful not to seem braggish or over the top, having everything come crashing down so unexpectedly really threw me for a loop. How was I supposed to come back and say 'Remember when I was so happy, yeah, now I'm scared and freaked out again' after so many cheery, joyous posts?

And then there's the knowledge of people out there rooting against me. You can't be everyone's cup of tea and I removed a few black clouds from my life a few years ago. Unfortunately in the internet world, people can still come around and try to cause drama because they are bored and since my blog isn't private I can't control who lurks. I'm not being dramatic, trust me, I'd rather not worry about things like this but I've dealt with drama off and on the past few years, even very recently which was sooooooooo ridiculous, making me not want to share the bad because I KNOW how happy it will make other people. Sad, right? But, then I realized, who F*#(ing cares what they think? If they want to cheer, go right ahead because soon they'll be pissed off that I'm rocking it out like a beast and turning sour lemons into lemonade. I also try to be VERY real here and not hide anything for y'all. There are enough people out there pretending the bad doesn't happen and only sharing the rosy, why do I need to add to that facade?

Silver lining, this unexpected change has pushed me to F I N A L L Y pursue my dream of personal training full time. My plan was to quit in March if I couldn't get ramped up working part time and maybe this is the push I needed to just GET AFTER IT ALL! The process is starting to click and I just need to trust myself that I know what I'm doing. I also need to be okay getting outside my comfort zone of not being a 'sales person' and embrace talking to new people to get them to train with me. Time for me to get back on the fitness blog train and really start digging into sharing fitness as my full time job. Any and all prayers or good vibes would be so appreciated. My goal is to attack this new path with joy, vigor and tenacity to make my dreams succeed. Alright 2018, let's do this!

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14 comments:

  1. I am so sorry this happened and you were alone when you first had to deal with it. But we learn who our true team is in the ups and the downs. Learning to deal with life's curves in a sane and realistic way is a great adult skill for sure. Hugs to you sweet friend!

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  2. It's totally normal to feel like it's somehow your fault when in fact it is a business decision. A business decision that feels really bad when you're personally affected by it.

    Usually when something like this happens, where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing reveals itself. I think that's true in your case.

    I hope you never feel bad about talking about when things are good or happy and then a minute or week or month later they're not. Because that is straight up life and it's life for all of us.

    Hang in there!

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  3. Im sorry that this happened. I wish you so much luck in any new adventure you take on though and I look forward to reading about your successes!

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  4. I'm so sorry this happened- a few years ago I had something very similar happen where we found out, with literally no indication that anything was wrong that the entire location was closing and we wouldn't have a job after January-- it really sucks, but I'm so glad you could see the silver lining and were able to spend more time with your family over the holidays even if it wasn't expected. You are going to do amazing things with your training career this year, which is amazing since it's your passion!

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  5. UGH. The worst feeling ever. (That happened with my first job out of college and I had moved across the country for it. Definitely felt SO alone so 100% get that feeling.) That being said, I'm glad you're going to pursue your dream and not let this set back hold you back. You passed your test, you're looking AMAZING, and your enthusiasm is contagious - so bring it 2018! Pinky the Perfect Training is coming for you!

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  6. I'm so sorry that this happened! I'm glad though that he went ahead and let you be done at the end of the year. You are going to conquer this next chapter though!

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  7. I'm certain that more people than you might think have been let go from a job at some point in the past (or have had a job that it would have been better if they had have been let go from!), including me. It's never fun to talk about but I think most people will understand that it wasn't anything personal. And those who think it is - what effect does their opinion have on your life?! I wish you all the very best for your new career, I think you're going to be great at it.

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  8. I'm so sorry that you were blindsided like that. Hopefully this is the big push you needed to take personal training to the next level. You're going to rock whatever does come next. Thinking about you!

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  9. you know how uber proud I am of you. Love you and here to support you know matter what.

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  10. I'm so sorry that they eliminated your job, I have been there and while it is not your fault, it's hard to think that other people are not thinking "yeah, she messed up or something". Best wishes!!

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  11. I'm really sorry with how 2017 ended for you and I'm even more sorry that you have to deal with mean people. But, you must be doing something right because they keep coming back to see what you are up to! :) I'm a people pleaser so to say, "don't let them bother you" wouldn't be completely honest because I know it hurts when people aren't rooting for you. But...there are plenty of people how only want the best for you - keep them close and pour into them. Sadly, there will always be those that don't want you to succeed but there will be even more than know you were born for greatness! Make 2018 your best yet!

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  12. i'm just reading this post now and while it sucks that you were let go, now is your chance to do what you TRULY want! don't even worry about last year; 2018 will have tons of positives in store for you.

    as for the haters, let 'em hate...you can't please everyone all the time - you aint pizza! so if they want to revel in your misfortunes, so what; that just shows the type of person they are (rotten) and those people will have their own coming their way.

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  13. ugh girl. so mad for you! this sucks hairy balls. i am so sorry this happened, and you know what? if there are crappy people around lurking and are 'happy' this happened to you? they can go screw themselves, because pursuing your DREAM of personal training full time?! that is not a bad thing (duh) so they won't get to be happy for long (and perhaps should go and live their own lives.. sigh..).
    anyway. again, so sorry this happened, easier said than done but don't let it get to you. bad stuff happens and whether you could have done something or not, you'll never know, so the most important thing is moving on and finding something bigger and better. the AMAZING thing is that you already have this dream waiting for you and now it's just a little bit closer! that is fantastic news girl.

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  14. You got this! If anyone can handle this it is you! Look at this as a sign from God that it is your time!

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