December 7, 2017

We Found Our Christmas This Year {What's New With You}

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If I had to change my blog tag line it would be "what a difference a year makes". Seems every time I come here to write something deep about my life that phrase shows up. Right now, I find myself thinking it over and over, multiple times a day. I'm so grateful to be 365 days away from the end of 2016.

Last year, oh man, what a perfectly awful December. My life was day in day out 'Where Are You Christmas?' on repeat. It was dark. And sad. And lonely. And just gosh darn horrible. Both Le Husband and I were stuck in jobs we couldn't stand and we still hadn't found a place to live. My aunt and uncle gave us NO grief, nor made us feel in the way, but celebrating the holidays in someone else's home is super tough. Our timeline of three months [HAAHAHAHA] had extended to six. I cried multiple nights going to sleep because it wasn't supposed to be THIS WAY.

My job was a month old, yet I found myself drowning daily. Changes in policy, changes in merchandise, changes in memberships, changes in pricing, changing in personal, all happening in a single day frayed my nerves to nothing. My first December weekend I received a call at 0300 because someone didn't show up for their next shift and the buck stopped with me. So I had to drive to the gym to cover the 0300 - 0600 shift. I cried driving out there. I cried sitting in the office. I also vowed to never have the experience again. It was terrible and the weekend was lost. And then my friend was killed in a car accident, bringing a tidal wave of emotions and more darkness.

Our marriage was at it's lowest point last year, too. We were tired of nothing working. Le Husband was tired of his job's drama, while also being tired of me complaining and crying all the time. He's an amazing man, though comforting is not his forte. He also was experiencing what I call 'the man's worth crisis' because we were still in someone else's home. Which made him angry about circumstances and when I didn't want to look at homes online or drive around when I got home from work he'd get so annoyed with me, causing arguments. Christmas cheer was so hard to find, there was a lot of faking. So much time spent pretending to be happy to people while silently feeling like a failure and feeling so incredibly lost.

Then came the house. Then came the new job. Then came more sleep. More joy. More time. Most importantly MORE LIFE!

What's new with us this December? So much goodness. I know longer work a job I can't stand because it makes me cry with unpredictability. Call me a baby, but those six months were some of the toughest, darkest months of my life. My current job is not where I see myself much longer than a year, but it gives me stability. It gives me peace of mind [usually]. I am allowed to walk out the door and not think about work until the next day. I sleep. I take vacation. I am actually bored, YES!

We are in our home. OUR.HOME. Something we'd wanted for years but waited to buy in Virginia. Something so close, yet so unattainable in 2016. Then came the one visit and the moment we knew. This was it, this is our home. Which is decorated for Christmas, making it so cozy. Not everything is done or put away, Le Husband is currently painting our upstairs, but it is livable and lovely. Pictures below are snapshots taken last night. Nothing fancy, just moments. Christmas cheer is everywhere and I'm basking in the glow of our Christmas tree lights and candles.




Just typing OUR Christmas tree has me tearing up a bit. You might call me a bit dramatic or emotional but this month is bringing out all the feels. That's what's new with me. My joy of the season is back. My love of the holidays has returned. I can feel the jolly. I can say without faking "Merry Christmas"! I can read posts on blogs, Facebook and Instagram without feeling hollow inside. We have finally reached A YEAR LATER and it has never felt soooooo good to be on the other side of a year. If you are struggling, I get it. All my love and hugs to you. If you're on the other side with me, I cheers you, we did it. 

Thank you so much, friends for supporting me. To each and everyone of you reading, I appreciate you sticking with me and reaching out when it was dark. Your friendships mean more than you know and sometimes just a 'hang in there' got me through the day. So much love and lots of Christmas cheer to you!

17 comments:

  1. Just reading this made ME tear up a bit ha. I am so happy for both of you & so glad that things are 100x better than they were a year ago. Congrats on finding your Christmas.

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  2. So incredibly happy for you! I am feeling the way you felt last December, I despise my job, cry when I am on my way there and our move in date, which was suppose to be tomorrow, has been postponed, but the magic of Christmas returns and shines and we too shall find our Christmas. Bask I. The glory sweet girl and may the magic surround you!

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  3. So glad that so much has changed for the better for you guys over the past year!

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  4. So much of what you wrote resonated with me because this time last year, I was in a not-so-good place myself. I, too, share in your sentiment - it has never felt so good to be on the other side of a year.

    I'm glad to hear that you have found joy, happiness, and peace. Happy Holidays!

    Visting from WNWY

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  5. That is just wonderful. I'm so happy that you guys have had a much different and more fulfilling year than last year. In many ways I feel the same, so I understand you fully!

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  6. I love this post so much. Unfortunately we're having a similar(ish) year to your 2016, especially with the job stuff. And we're so frustrated. he's doing better than I am, thankfully, but I'm low on joy! This made me so happy reading, though. I am so glad things are brighter for you! And you know, sometimes simple moments and things are the best. :)

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  7. I'm glad your Dec is better this year! I've had hard years too. I'm the one who always wanted a different house. But never happened. We've been in ours for 28 years this month. Now we need new siding!:-/ I'm popping over from Jen's blog, marathon and dog tags. I pray all goes well in the years ahead!

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  8. girl. SO happy for you that you're in a better place this year. what a difference a year makes indeed. this time last year we were living in someone else's house and you're right, it is very hard. it made KC and I both really sluggish and blah about life. while i'm with you, 100% better off and happier in our own house and all, 2017 was a shit year for me and i am so done. ready for 2018. the further i get away from all the shit that happened, the better lol. but anyway. i really am so happy for you.

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  9. I love when I look back and think MAN this year is so much better than the last. Cheers to your better December.

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  10. I am so glad that this year is bringing much more joy!!! <3

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  11. Love, love, love this. So happy for you. A year can truly make a huge difference. Enjoy Christmas in YOUR home!

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  12. I am so happy for you! Sometimes we need those little dips in the darkness to appreciate the ups and normalcy. Here's to continued health and happiness this year my friend!

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  13. So happy that your season of joy is back! I've been down this road before of working a job that I hated with a passion, having to live with family and everything taking its toll on my marriage. Those dark moments/trails definitely make us stronger and renew our appreciation for our good seasons.

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  14. I feel like you and I were in so many of the same places in early 2016. I wish I had been paying more attention so that we could support each other better. <3 I'm so glad that this year has been better and that you're settling in. Isn't it great to be settled in your own home for Christmas? I was SO excited putting up the tree last weekend... I was LITERALLY dancing around while doing it. Best feeling ever. Love you, friend!

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  15. Oh my gosh, I love this post!! I'm so happy things have completely turned around and you are able to enjoy the holidays, especially in your new home! Your tree looks beautiful!

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  16. YES, what a year! And what a great reminder of the seasons in life we all go through and how important it is to remain faithful-- something I so need to remember more often. I love that little tree on your table and your mantle/fireplace is gorgeous-- the decor and the actual fireplace!

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  17. I'm so glad things are so much better for y'all this year!!!

    Also, where did you get your Peanuts nativity? IT'S SO CUTE!

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